Friday, May 27, 2011


For the first time I have been able to feel kicks and are sure that's what they are! I can't even begin to describe how happy  I am! I'm just sitting here, on my bed, my laptop on a pillow in my lap typing a reply on the Just Mommies site when I feel what I describe as a bubble bursting in my lower abdomen. I figured it was a gas bubble at first, just making its way through my insides, but then when it happened a second time, in the exact same spot, I began to wonder.

I kept typing and felt another, then another! All in the same spot! Baby is so lively today! I almost want to cry with joy, but I did enough crying Wednesday and some yesterday. I definitely don't feel like crying anymore, for any reason.

Overall I felt 5 or 6 good kicks. Baby is too small for them to hurt so it wasn't bad. Like I said, a bubble bursting. Like, have you ever blown a small bubble with gum and pulled it into your mouth and popped it by crushing it? That's what it feels like, but in a spot two inches below and just to the left of my belly button.

It's so wonderful! I'm so excited to finally know that those were kicks without someone holding a doppler to my stomach and hearing the thump and being told it was a kick. I just wish I could hug my baby and tell it how cute it is and how much I love it! XD

And for a little update on my depression from Wednesday: Thursday morning I woke up still feeling a bit bleh, but much better then before. I was able to read about women finding out the gender or getting their gender scans sooner than mine and not be physically hurt my it. I just felt sad when I read them, and there were a lot yesterday for the November women. We've got nearly 20 ladies who know the gender already. Over 10 of them are having boys. One is having fraternal twins of a boy and a girl.

But eventually I started getting tired of the way I felt and decided not to be sad anymore. I heard a long time ago that being happy, sad, mad, etc. is a choice. You had to choose to be happy or to stay sad or mad and so when I put that into action in my life, I began to realize, it really is a choice. Things have been much better with my depression since then. I'm not someone who gets depressed so much I need medicine, but being a naturally happy person and someone who holds things in, it's only normal that I can get seriously depressed from time to time.

So I decided I wasn't going to be sad anymore, mostly because I knew it was the hormones doing it to me. Once you make a choice about how you're going to feel, you do have to work at it, but the more times you've made a choice to be one way or the other, the easier it becomes. So by bed time last night I felt completely fine. So today I haven't had any problems.

And what with feeling the kicks (even though they've stopped now, poo) I'm the happiest I've been in such a long time!!

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