Bleeding*TMI WARNING*

This morning when I got up I went to pee and when I wiped, there was some blood in the normal discharge. Just enough to stain it a pink color. Wasn't really worried, more like, what the heck?

Must've gone pee like 4 more times before my nap and didn't have anything else. I figured it was just a one time thing because I'd even gone to the store for food and to Blockbuster. The only thing all the walking around did was trigger the pain in my hip. I've been having pain in the left side of my hip from last week sometime when I did the dishes. I guess I bent over wrong to get stuff out/put stuff in the bottom rack of the dishwasher and since then it's been hurting after doing a bit of walking.

It's really beginning to hurt right now. I want to take a tylenol but I don't want to rely on them. I also don't want to take a tylenol just in case I should start cramping. If I do then I might not know it if I've got pain reliever in my system.

Well anyways, when I got up from my nap I had a little bit of blood again. Same amount as before, just enough to stain the discharge. Went pee about two more times and about two hours ago I went pee and this time there had been enough blood to come out of my vagina and was between my lips down there. It was pink but definitely a lot more blood than just enough to stain a dime size amount of discharge.

So I called the birthing center, knowing I'd get the answering service. She did try to put me through to one of the midwives but only one was on call tonight and she was busy. So I waited. About 20 minutes later the midwife called me back.

I told her what had happened and she said it'd be a good idea to go into the birthing center tomorrow. I'm to meet her there at 9am. She will give me the Rhogam shot now instead of waiting since I am B- and bleeding. And she said that as soon as she gets in tomorrow she'll call the ultrasound clinic and have them call me to set up an appointment that day so they can check see if it might be caused by a low lying placenta or if they can see if something else is going on.

She did ask if they'd said anything about a low lying placenta at my last ultrasound and I told her no. I saw the placenta myself. It's been at the top of my uterus for a while now. It's directly above my baby. My baby is in a sitting position like one would be in a chair, its head pointing up. Its always been on my right side but in the middle of the night last night it finally managed to change positions and is not on my left side, so all the kicks are now to the right.

I'm not really worried since the baby is still moving around and I can feel it, but bleeding can lead to problems so they have to be checked and if bad enough, monitored.The midwife said if it gets worse tonight to just go ahead into the ER. So worse means the blood increases or I start cramping. As I've been typing this, the pain in my hip has been radiating to the side so I can feel it on my right side now and has been radiating forward on my left side.

What could happen is that somehow I end up with a low lying placenta and I'll have to have some bed rest. I couldn't be put on total bed rest because I'd need to be able to get up and get me food and all. And the worst thing that could happen is I end up with placenta previa. That means the placenta is around my cervix. There are three types of it, one where it's right next to the cervix but not covering it, one where it's partially covering it, and one where it's completely covering it.

Placenta previa can fix itself but it has to be monitored. If it doesn't fix itself it can be fatal to both the mother and child under certain circumstances. It can mean that the doctors will find it necessary to deliver the baby via c-section before full term. They like to wait until 36 weeks at least but sometimes they have to do it even earlier. The youngest baby known to survive was born at 25 weeks. I am 21 weeks. It's said that at 20 weeks the baby has a chance of survival outside the womb but it's a very small one.

So hopefully it's not a low lying placenta (which can turn into placenta previa) and is just a blood vessel in the cervix, which is something else the midwife mentioned. We'll see, though. Hopefully all is well or, at least, turns out well.

New Position

I get up today and find that my baby has moved to the left side. It has been on my right the entire pregnancy so far. It has been trying to move around more and it's finally done it! lol! Let's see if the kicks are in a bit different place from now on.

I'm thinking that it moving to the other side is the reason why I had to pee so freaking much in the night. In a five hour period I got up to go at least 3 times. I think there was a fourth in there but I can't quite remember. I haven't had to pee so much since near the beginning.

Oh and I forgot to post the picture of my little belly. I got one taken today (21w1d) but I have to wait for my sister to send it to my e-mail before I can post it. So here's the one from a week ago:

You can see some red area up towards my shirt. That's pregnancy discoloration. It hasn't changed shape, gotten smaller or bigger, it isn't itchy or dry or raised. It's just there. I've had it for a few months now. It's interesting. I also have one tiny spot under my arm and that's it.

Preggy Belly

So when I stand, it just looks like I've gotten fatter. -_-' But when I lay down, it's very obvious I'm pregnant.

If only things would even out while standing like they do when lying down. Poo. It's such a cute little belly too. Just a little round thing below my belly button. I'm hoping that because I don't have as much fat on my stomach as most my weight do, when I get huge it'll look like I'm pregnant and not just overly fat in one spot. I've seen some overweight pregnant women who have a belly that jiggles like all it is is fat. It's odd that it'll do that. Hope mine doesn't.

Nervous, and Then...

Every once in a while I get nervous about what's to come. It's nothing to do with the actual fact that I'll be a mom and whatnot. It's just about change. I must admit that I'm afraid of it. Well, it's easier if I have someone with me, but I'm having to face this change alone.

I know I'll have my family and friends but there won't be a kind and loving man going through this change with me.

So I get nervous and have to stop myself from dwelling on it or else suffer a horrible panic attack. But even after just a few seconds of freaking out, I still feel off.

But it never seems to fail lately that after a small panic attack, the baby kicks me or does some major moving so I can really tell it's in there. And it reminds me about how adorable this little one is going to be. How as it grows older, it'll smile at me, reach for me, be sad when I'm not around enough, be curious about everything, even to the point of being annoying, haha! I'll have someone who loves me no matter what. Someone who needs me and can't stand to be without me. Someone who will give my life more purpose than I've ever been able to find on my own or in a man's arms.

I can't wait to hug my baby for the first time! XD I'm nearly halfway through! Going by the November 7th due date, I'll be halfway done this coming Monday. I can't believe it's almost been 20 weeks!

I'll be showing more soon, too. I've already gotten to the point where I can't hold my stomach in. It's annoying, though because it's not a lovely round belly. It just looks like I let my stomach go. -_-'

So close and yet so far! The year is halfway over already! Where did the time go?! Before I know it, my baby will be here. I just hope I've got everything settled by then!

Frustrating!

So I guess this happened yesterday since it's 4:39am Saturday morning.

Anyway, I got a call from FOB. I thought my mom had gotten the phone company to block the number. Apparently not. She hasn't said anything about it since she said she'd go do it. I wonder if she's trying to punish me for not having a job right now or something. I told her I got a call from him and she just asked what he said and that was it. She didn't say anything about how she had to wait to go and ask them to block the number or how she forgot to do it, nothing!

It upset me that he called because I don't want him back in my life! All he asked is how is the baby doing and then asked me how I was doing. I told him the baby is doing fine and I'm doing ok. He went quiet for a moment and then said, "Well, I guess that's it then." Then we said bye and hung up.

I hope I don't hear from him for at least a few months.

AWESOME!!!

Found out the gender! Unfortunately I cannot post it here. I'm sorry to anyone who reads this and wants to know. I absolutely cannot have FOB in my life. At least not yet. I'm praying that I won't have to worry about it for several years. I would like my child to know their siblings, er, at least their brother since I doubt there will be a way for my kid to see its sister until my kid 18 most likely, but that'll have to go on hold for a while. I'll be debating on whether to tell my kid they have siblings as they grow up or wait until they're a good deal older.

I'm enjoying the sheer joy of finally being able to use a gender specific pronoun. I even went out and bought the first outfit! It's so cute! I'll be buying the coming home outfit maybe tomorrow (technically later today since it's 3am just about). Gotta get something warm since it'll be pretty cold and snowy when baby is born.

The only thing I dread is the fact that I can hide the gender now, but not once the baby is born. This town is so small and I know a few people whom I could run into who would be able to tell FOB the gender. The less FOB knows about the baby, the less...attached he'll feel.

I want to delay FOB finding out for as long as possible. I would love to move to where my middle sister lives since it'll be easier to hide and FOB is too lazy to try hard enough to see the kid that he'd go all the way down there for just that purpose. But I need the help my mom can offer, at least in the beginning. I still have time to figure things out, though.

Wish me luck! ^_^

So Close!!!

Only 1 day and 14 hours left until I find out the gender!!! Yay! I can't wait! I'm starting to hope for a boy because I'm so in love with the name I picked out but I'll be happy with either. ^_^

Movin'

No I'm not moving. Baby is, haha!

Posting this real quick before I go to bed. For about 30-40 minutes, up until about 5 minutes ago, the baby was just moving around in there. I could feel it rolling and whatnot. Then, around 5 minutes ago, I feel like 6 kicks and now the baby-er just felt another XD Anyways baby has seemed to calm down down. Which is good, I don't want to be kept up by it lol. Haha another kick. I wonder what's got it moving so much.

They say the stuff you eat can set it off, like if it's really sugary. I'm wondering if maybe the two snoballs I ate had made it there lol. Somewhere close to an hour ago I had a green apple and some cheese. I've been drinking either milk or water since around 9pm. So I don't know.

But now I am finally going to bed. Just wanted to share.

Hum De Dum

Baby brain made me totally forget that DVD+Rs and whatnot are capable of having the stuff ripped from them easily without a program, so I managed to pull the May 11th ultrasound from the disc and put it on my computer.

Only problem is that I have to find a site that will upload it. Photobucket doesn't recognize the file type so I can't even chose it from the list and I'm not compute savvy enough to know how to change the file type so it will register.

Facebook recognizes it, though. So I'm uploading it there, it's going to take over 2 hours. -_-' But my page is set to completely private so you have to be a friend to see and I don't friend just anyone. I have to know the person requesting the add.

Once I find an upload site, I will get things done and put the link here.

And I'm beginning to think I may not post what the gender of my baby is, once I find out. I don't really want to make this blog private so it means should FOB somehow feel so inclined and search for stuff by me on the net, this could come up somewhere.

I had a scare with him today. I got a random text saying, "Hi," but it was just a phone number displayed as the sender and it looked familiar, but I couldn't remember. I no long try to remember phone numbers unless they're super important ones. I could have swore I kept FOB's number in my contacts list so just in case he decided to call or text, I would see it's him and could avoid it. But when I checked after getting the text, I found I had deleted it. *headdesk* Can't believe I didn't keep it.

The number made me think of him so it very well could have been, but I'm just not sure. I texted back, "Who's this?" but never received a response. Thank goodness. But now I will never forget to pray that he be kept away from me. I've been forgetting to do that.

He's not the worst guy in the world but I just don't approve of him as father material (or boyfriend material or husband) and he makes my life miserable what with the way he blows things out of proportion and creates all sorts of unnecessary drama. Aside from work-related stress (which I can handle), my life has been so nicely stress-free. I want to keep it that way. Here's to hoping God doesn't see a need for him to be in mine or my baby's life, ever.