Thursday, December 29, 2011

Birth Story *FINALLY*

Cross posted from the mommy site:

So my due date was the 5th of November but all labor prep had stopped in my body. My nurse midwife had been going on for months about how the baby was big. At my Nov. 3rd appointment he wanted me tested for toxemia because my blood pressure had been in the 130s each time I'd gone in, with the second BP check showing it had gone down into first the 110s, then the 120s, and finally still in the 130s. My results came back normal and he had me make an appointment for the following week, which made me happy because it would mean William would have more time before being forced out.

At the 40 week appointment the ultrasound machine estimated my little man around 9lbs 8oz. The NMW even tried a second measurement hoping to get something less but the 2nd one was around 10lbs. He had me do an NST and while I was getting that done he made a call to the hospital for induction since we’d talked about it before the NST. He came in not too long after the call and told me it was set up for me to call Thursday at 5pm to see what time that night the hospital wanted me in. I was to be induced Thursday evening and deliver Friday.

Thursday, November 10th, rolls around and because of the NMW saying I was top priority the hospital called twice that day trying to get me to come in earlier. I managed to get through to them the second time that my plans were for after 5pm. So it was scheduled for 7:30pm.

At the hospital that night it took them a while to get to me. I was given the first piece of misoprostil (generic cytotec) around 9 or 9:30pm. I was still only 50% effaced and just barely 2cm dilated.

Things went fine, they had me hooked up to the monitors for an hour to make sure things were okay as the pill dissolved and all. After an hour I was able to get out of bed and be off the monitors. My mom and the doula took a walk with me around the L&D ward several times and in the room the doula worked on pressure points with me. After two hours the NMW came in to see me and I’d not progressed at all. No contractions or anything. When he checked me he tried to see if he could get stuff going a bit by being kind of rough with me cervix, it was not fun.

Around 11:30pm they gave me the next piece of misoprostil and this time I had to stay in bed for two hours while they monitored me. By the time they let me up I had to pee so bad it wasn’t funny. At this time my middle sister had gone back to the house to sleep since there was the doula and my mom there as well and they had to switch off sleeping in the chair thing. After that piece they wanted to wait a while to give my body a bit of a break. I wasn’t contracting at all and had only effaced 20% more.

The night was uneventful. I couldn’t sleep so I just messed around in bed, trying to sleep but eventually giving up around 3 or 4am. At 6am they gave me breakfast which was good because then it made the doula wake up and we could turn the lights on. I’d only managed to an hour and a half of sleep.

Doula did more pressure point work from time to time. For the most part we all just sat around watching TV and chatting. My sister came back around 9am I think. I was able to get a small hour nap in and she arrived while I was out.

Around noon my best friend got to the hospital and we all just took a walk and then sat in the room chatting and watching stuff. They put in the 3rd piece of the pill and it was very painful. The nurse I had didn’t have very long fingers and she decided to try and get stuff going as well. The amount of blood after she got done was crazy. Though, by the time the NMW came back, I’d lost a huge chunk of my mucus plug, so her fiddling with my cervix did something. Though I still was not contracting and my cervix was not dilating much at all. Even after the third pill there wasn’t much change. I guess I was effaced fully because no one said anything about it and they were only talking about dilation at this point. By this time I was having contractions but they had no pattern and weren’t very painful, though painful enough to be annoying.

I was going to take a nap around 6:30pm after I’d eaten dinner but they said the NMW would be back in around 7pm to discuss the next step and they were going to put me on the monitors around then so instead I took the chance to get up and walk around, do some more pressure points and whatnot. When the guy got there we talked about it and decided that breaking my water was the best thing now. The pills just weren’t having the desired effect and he didn’t want to confine me to the bed by giving me pitocin since I wasn’t going to have an epidural. So now I’d been in the hospital for about 24 hours (having gotten there around 7:40pm on the 10th). Though he figured we’d wait a little bit in hopes that maybe something might happen, which was good for me since I needed some sleep. So he left and called a little while later after I’d had a shower and we figured 9:30pm would be good for breaking my water. I then laid down and took a small nap since the shower eased up the pain in my pelvic are more so I could sleep.

At 9:15pm a nurse woke me up and checked me, still no real progress. At 9:25pm the doula did more pressure points on me hoping to get more stuff going. The NMW came in at 9:30pm and broke my water. It was the strangest feeling in the world. The liquid was so hot it made me wonder how on earth other women could think they were peeing themselves when it broke for them naturally. And I tell you what, amniotic fluid reeks!

I didn’t have to wait long for stuff to start. Within minutes I had a mild contraction. Around 10:15pm friend came back, having gone home to eat dinner and get a nap in since she was going to be up all night with me. By the time she got there I was having fairly strong contractions. I could sort of talk through them but not easily. This night my mom went home to get some dinner and sleep some since she didn’t sleep much the night before.

My contractions were coming within 3 minutes of each other and were getting stronger and lasting longer as the minutes went by. After an hour I was amazed it’d been an hour and we all decided to take a walk around the ward. As we began walking my contractions got worse where my knees would buckle and I’d hobble over to the nearest railing on the wall to lean against it and breathe through the contraction while gripping the railing with a death grip. The contractions were coming so fast now that I could barely walk a few feet before having another one. Once back in the room I sat up in the bed and had to moan through contractions. I had my sister put on the movie Thor because I felt like watching it but I ended up with my head back staring at the ceiling most of the time while I moaned.

I’m not sure how long I was like that for but I do know it was a long time and the contractions just kept coming. After a while they got so frequent I had no breaks whatsoever between them. They were painful but not really bad. And most of them had double spikes where they would ebb but immediately roll into the strongest part of the next one.

Finally the pain just became so intense I was beginning to really yell out. With no let up in the contractions and how hard they were coming we all began to talk about some pain relief. The plan was no medications like stadol and an epidural but after several hours of such horrible pain I could no longer stand it. Plus I’d only slept 2 hours total and it was very early in the morning on Saturday. I was so weak and from lack of sleep I was beginning to become overwhelmed, so I gave in and opted for the stadol. It was not only to relieve the pain on me but to also help me relax and get some sleep so I could be strong enough to push later. And by this time I was about only 5cm dilated. The pains were so bad my mom finally had to leave the room and when I looked up after one yell I noticed my friend had left, too. I felt so bad that they had to see me in so much pain.

It felt like it took forever to get the stadol. And as we were waiting we talked about the possibility of an epidural. I figured I’d go ahead and say yes, just in case because they needed me to sign a consent form before I got the stadol so I would be considered of sane mind if/when I said yes to the epi. So they finally got the stadol in me and I took this time to try and nap.

Unfortunately the stadol didn’t last long at all. Before even two hours were up I was in excruciating pain again. I said yes to the epidural despite still feeling fearful about the needle in my back. I went with it so I could have the strength to push. It took about an hour but they managed to get the epidural in. The guy was a bit brusque but apparently he flinched when I cried out as he stuck me so I feel bad about it lol.

After the epi was put in I was FINALLY able to get some sleep. Unfortunately the pain relief wasn’t long lived. The good thing was I was able to get about four hours of sleep. But soon the stuff began to wear off and it didn’t matter how many times I pressed the button for more, the pain was never relieved. It wasn’t as intense as before but it certainly hurt like hell! So they got the anesthesiologist back in to up the constant flow of the medication. It didn’t do much of anything.

It must’ve been early afternoon by this time and I was back to yelling through the contractions that weren’t letting up. The epidural had certainly decreased them so I had some breaks but it also did it enough so that the nurse midwife had me put on pitocin. He didn’t even have it giving me a ton. He just started me off small. But by now things were so bad and the epidural wasn’t working at all and I was only around 7cm now.

Not sure about time much after that but because I was in so much pain and screaming and bawling my eyes out they decided to get the anesthesiologist in there to see what else could be done. This guy was a different one from before since the other one was in the ER. First he checked the epi site and said that he had thought maybe things had shifted or it wasn’t in the right place but after seeing it, he said it couldn’t have been done better and it was just fine. He decided to give me some much stronger stuff but I had to wait for him to go get it.

While I was waiting, I was sitting up at the foot of the bed because for some reason it eased the pain quite a bit. The doula and my mom stood on my right when the guy came back in. He got the catheter for the epi and used that to put the medicine in. He told me I’d feel some cold but that’s definitely not what I felt.

Instead of cold, my entire back seized up so hard I could barely breathe because the muscles around my ribs wouldn’t allow my lungs to expand. I couldn’t move and I was screaming from the pain of it all. It took a good 5-10 minutes for the medicine to kick in around my uterus and once it did I wanted to cry from joy. I couldn’t feel the contractions at all. It was SUCH a relief! So I took the time to chat a bit and just focus on things not about labor. The nurse midwife came back in about an hour after to check me.

I hadn’t made any progress. He sat there for several minutes trying to see if he could get the baby to turn his head so it would sit right in my pelvis. All the pain I’d been having was horrible back labor and because the baby’s head was cocked to one side inside my pelvis. After he tried and tried to get my little man to turn his head manually, he decided to have me lay on my right side and tilt the bed back to allow gravity to pull the baby from the pelvis so he could then descend back in at the right angle. I was to try and nap during this time.

After just less than an hour I began to feel a little bit of pain. The nurse midwife had turned the pitocin up earlier hoping that while I couldn’t feel anything, he could really get stuff going. But it didn’t take more than 5 minutes after feeling the first twinge of pain to begin feeling things pretty much full force. By the time they got the anesthesiologist back in there I was nearly yelling again. He gave me this dose as I was lying down still because the nurse wouldn’t let me get up. This meant that the stuff didn’t work as quick. At some point I was finally allowed to sit up.

This dose lasted around an hour and a half. As soon as I began to feel any pain I asked to get another dose hoping to get the dose before the pain became too bad. Unfortunately the nurse didn’t quite understand and so took her time getting the guy back in. So again, by the time he got in there I was yelling through the pain. The nurse midwife came in after that and said that he’d let me go a little longer in hopes that I could progress some more, but I should begin thinking about the possibility of a c-section.

After I got this dose I talked with the doula and my mom about what would happen next if I still hadn’t progressed. I was only roughly 8cm now and it was creeping up on 23 hours after having my waters broke. So 23 hours of intense labor. After talking about it we decided it was late, I was exhausted, and I’d been trying as hard as I could to get to 10cm so if things weren’t any different I’d go ahead with the c-section.

That last dose of the pain medicine didn’t even last an hour. So we called the nurse midwife in and told him what I decided and he got to work by checking me first to make sure I hadn’t progressed and sure enough no change whatsoever.

While I waited for them to take me to the OR I tried to keep the pain at bay by pressing the epi button a few times. Soon they had me going to the OR and then on the table. I had to fight through the pain while they had me hunched over on the table and the anesthesiologist (the one who gave me the epidural) tried to get the spinal block done. Unfortunately he was having a hard time with it and stuck me several times. The first time he hit a nerve that tweaked in my left foot. It took over 5 minutes for him to finally be able to get something in. I had my sister count the number of stick marks on my back and she found twelve. I found out while I was in recovery that the guy had such a hard time with it because my muscles were so tense they bent the needles.

Well after they got the spinal block done they had me lay back and they put the blue partition sheet up. I felt the numbness slowly creep up my body, feeling like it ended just under my ribs. It was making my chest feel heavy so I had to breathe through my mouth to know I was breathing at all. I also was near to passing out from exhaustion. I could feel them moving stuff over my legs so I worried about feeling stuff on my stomach. But then one woman told me I should be feeling something sharp, she was pinching me pretty hard. I couldn’t feel anything at all so I was happy about that.

My mom was sitting next to my head by that time and I was trying hard to stay awake. Before I knew it I heard them calling out a time. 21:30. My mom smiled, near to tears and told me my son was finally here. At 9:30pm on November 12, 2011, William Michael finally made it into the world.

When I finally got to see him he had a full head of dark brown hair and incredibly chubby cheeks. His first cry was so cute and squeaky and it wasn’t long before they got all the fluid cleared and he was crying loudly. He was a lovely pink color and very active. I couldn’t have asked for a healthier baby.

They wheeled me off into recovery not long after taking William from the room. While in there I shook as if I’d been out, naked, in the cold for hours. I tried hard to sleep while in there but the shivering kept me up. By the time they brought William into the recovery room, it was time to move me to my new room. All the shivering stopped once in the room with my baby and I didn’t get to sleep until well after 1am.

When I got the stats on William, he was 9lbs 6oz, 20 1/2in, with a 15 head and a 14 chest.

They’ve been giving me and the little guy antibiotics because right at the end before opting for the c-section, I had begun to develop a fever and William had a slight one as well, not to mention he’d pooped at some point while still in the womb. So far his blood cultures have always come back negative for infection (as have mine) and then his blood sugars are wonderful and he’s not jaundiced. I can’t believe how amazingly healthy he seems to be. I am definitely blessed.

And despite how rough it was and that pretty much everything I wanted for this birth was thrown out the window, I still want more children some day and I still want to try for a natural birth. And when it happens that I am pregnant again, I just know I’ll be a VBAC success story. This birth was such an interesting experience!

Friday, November 25, 2011


Someday I will post all the goings on of the past two weeks. Maybe tomorrow, who knows? Until then...

During the day I'm fine. But when it comes time for my little man (yes, it's a boy ^_^) to sleep and for me to sleep as well, I start feeling panicky. I try to shut my brain off but by late evening I'm fully awake. At the hospital I wasn't going to bed until 2am. I manage to get some sleep between 8am and noon. Last night I got about four hours after midnight and then little cat naps from 4am to 11am when I gave him to my mom so I could take an actual nap for two hours.

So by night time I don't want to sleep. And while I'm lying in bed, trying to force myself to stop thinking, thinking is all I can do. Like how the hell did I get into all this? How am I going to do everything? I've got such a long road ahead of me. I mean I knew what was coming, but still. I don't do well with change. I miss my big pregnant belly. I wish I could go back and the labor and delivery could be different- could go the way I had wanted.

And Thursday morning my middle sister went home to Oregon. She was such a big help and I miss her so much. I wish she lived here. I got really lucky last night that my baby, his name is William, did so well. The first two nights at home were a terror and I really needed my sister. My mom said that when my sister left she'd sleep in the guest bedroom for a bit, but she hasn't. In a way I feel so alone in all of this. I should have been married, like I had planned. Nothing about having a child went the way I had planned it. From being single to not getting to give birth at the birthing center, to the way labor and delivery went, to the stuff after he was born. How does anyone do it?

And with needed sleep in the early morning, I don't eat breakfast. Thursday I ate only once. Today I would have eaten only once but I realized I hadn't eaten much and so made myself some cereal. I just don't know where the time is during the day to do anything. My sister helped me get my room re-situated so it has more room to move around in and was cleaner. Now it's a total mess from having to search for stuff I needed at the hospital and need here, getting clothes for William, clothes for myself, etc. I don't know when I'll be able to organize it all again. And I try to sleep when he sleeps but it's so hard.

I'm afraid I won't even begin to have things settled by the time January hits and I have to start looking for a job. What the hell am I gonna do? I've got a daycare lined up, but still. And the only help I have is my mom whose schedule can be 8-5 or 9-6 or 7-4. My mom wants me to go for a full-time job but I just don't know how I'm going to handle working full time and raising a child on my own. I know this is all just new mom stuff and eventually things will get better and easier to deal with as I figure things out, but for now, it's all so crazy and I'm scared and I really wish my middle sister was here. Well, I wish both of my sisters were here. It's not fair we're all separated.

*sigh* I almost wish I could fast forward to when I've got things figured out.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Induction Day

I thought it'd be nice to document the day as it goes along. I'll also document as much as I can while in labor later.

So to start this thing, how I was woken up by a call from the hospital that interrupted what was turning out to be a very entertaining dream in which I was solving a murder.

It was around 8:20am when just as my dream was getting good my phone began to ring- or vibrate as that's what I keep it at while I'm sleeping. When I grabbed it I had to unplug it since I'd been charging it all night and looked at the number on the screen. It was one I'd never seen before but figured it to be some business number since the last four digits had two zeros (most business around here are given a thousand number for the last four digits, with at least two zeros). Thinking it was probably something to do with medical stuff I was just about to answer it when my voicemail got it it first. So I laid back and waited for the message.

When the phone vibrated to tell me a message had been received, I pressed the Listen button on the screen and waited with the cell pressed to my ear. After the automated voice told me I had one new message, a female voice came on announcing the message was for me and that she was calling from the women's center at the hospital. They had me scheduled for an induction today and wanted to see if I wanted to go ahead and come in. Confused, I deleted the message and got up, walking to the TV room where my mom was sitting watching Melissa & Joey on Netflix.

I sat on the couch and laid the phone on the small table in front of it as she asked me how I was feeling this morning. I told her I was fine but tired (seeing as I didn't get to bed until about 2am) and then explained about the call. We figured I should just call them back to see what was going on. My nurse midwife told me I was his top priority but to call the hospital around 5pm today to see what time they'd like me to come in for the induction.

So I called them back and asked about it. The woman said they had me as number one on the induction list today. I told them what my nurse midwife said about me being top priority but not going in until later this evening. The woman said okay and then asked if I'd like to come in sooner or if my plans were all for tonight. I told her my plans were for tonight so I would call back around 5pm as planned. She then asked me what would be a good time for the induction and I said any time after 6pm. So she wrote that down and said she'd call the nurse midwife to run it by him and make sure about what I was told.

With that done I grabbed my computer and took it to the TV room to sit and check things on the internet and watch television with my mom. I posted about the upcoming induction on my Facebook. Then I got up and grabbed some canned peaches and some water.

After an hour or so my mom and I got to talking about what to make for dinner tonight which led into what to have for breakfast. As my mom was making it (sausage patties and cheesy biscuits) I went into the kitchen and noticed that it was snowing pretty heavily outside. The flakes are super small but there's so many of them that at just a glance it looks like it's a bit foggy outside. This is when I decided to document the day with pictures. But as I was taking some the camera started giving me the low battery signal. So I have to wait for my sister to wake up in order to get more batteries from the rechargeables in the room she's staying in.While I wait I'm typing up what I can of the day so far.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


First off, if there are any typos and whatnot, please forgive me. I'm super tired right now but I really want to go ahead and put this post up before I forget.

Had my 40 week appointment today. Gained 3lbs since Thursday. Some is food related, some is baby related, some is water retention related. All I know is for some reason I have this urge to ask for a gym membership for Christmas or something. I actually feel like getting in some exercise. I want to try and set a good example for my child and to do that I need to be in the habit of doing what my body needs.

Blood pressure was the highest it's been all pregnancy. 140/91. True I'd just come from walking around Sam's Club for about an hour and they took me in right away so I had no time to rest, but still. The nurse midwife did a second blood pressure check after the exam and it went down to 130/70-something. The exam was only about 10 minutes, maybe 15.

Cervix is still around 1 1/2cm dilated and 50% effaced. It really sucks. I was sure it was effacing some more because of all the bleeding. The baby is estimated around 9lbs 8oz. I'm not sure how they'd even calculate weight since it comes up after the circumference of the head is measured, the torso is measured, and then a femur is measured. It's all lengths so where exactly does this weight guess come in? But I'm confident my baby is under 9lbs. I think the little one just has a big head. The only thing that would be a huge problem concerning that is if my pelvis just isn't big enough to accommodate a large head.

So we talked of induction. I mentioned I'd be happy making it to tomorrow or Thursday at the earliest if I have to be induced. The guy said okay and I am all set for Thursday evening with the plan being to deliver this Friday. So I'd almost be allowed to make it to 41 weeks, so yeah, I'm pretty comfortable with this. And he's not going to use pitocin unless stuff just isn't happening. He says since I'm going to do this with an epidural he'd like for me to have more room to move and hooking me up to an IV for the pitocin wouldn't give me that. I think he also said it has something to do with my blood pressure and something else.

I'll be getting a tablet inserted somewhere in there which will ripen my cervix more which should hopefully start contractions. No matter what, though, this baby will be here by my birthday this Saturday.

And I'll be happy to not have to deal with this idiot much after that. I was very upset at how he reacted to my asking about the pitocin. He asked me if I had any questions before he started talking about what he was planning to do. I mentioned my doula had said something about how some doctors start off with the smallest amount of pitocin and if that gets things going they allow it to wear off and let the body take over. I asked if he did that and said I thought that sounded good. He answered by going into what he was going to do for my induction and then went on to say that he and the nurses at the hospital were the medical professionals and they've got the say so on however things have to go. That they're "the captains of this ship" and my doula should leave things like that up to them. He wasn't very nice about it.

The man looked offended when I even asked if he knew any good doulas that his patients had had and liked. He looked offended when I told him I'd gotten a doula. And now he's acting like a typical man, thinking his judgement is coming into question and being disrespectful to my doula. I really like this woman and she's helped me a lot so I was NOT happy when he went into his little tirade. I wanted to slap him.

I really, really hated that he acted like that. I was finally becoming more comfortable with him and he went and did something like that. I will never be seeing this guy again for a pregnancy if I'm still here the next time I get pregnant and end up being high risk. I'm also going to let the midwives at the birthing center know that this man is NOT the one to send women to who really, really want to go as natural as possible after being labeled high risk. He's great for those women who don't care one way or the other, as long as they and their baby are fine, but for those like me, who like to know as much as they can about their pregnancy and about labor and delivery, and who like to have a say in things he's not very good. Well, he might be okay if the woman actually gives him a piece of her mind and makes sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

Normally I trust the practitioner to do the right thing by me. It's stupid to trust them like that, but I do. In this case, though, I won't give them free reign. It's my body, my baby, my pregnancy.

But yeah, things are all set for later this week. I wonder how it'll be.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Officially 40 weeks

Just before going to bed last night I had the lovely (only partial sarcasm there) surprise of finding a bit of my mucus plug in my urine. It's definitely not finished coming out but it's progress. I've been having the tiniest little spots of it since then so things are still trying to go.

Got some fresh pineapple today after the doula left. Yes, the doula did pressure points on my feet. She said she could come back Saturday (which would be later today since it's 12:23am) to do more or since my sister was doing some on me, I could just rely on her. This woman is a very good doula. Glad she's the one I have ^_^

So after getting lunch and grabbing the pineapple, my sister and I went to see Tower Heist, which was really good. Then we stopped by this baby store in town to look at the different kinds of cloth diapers and their slings/carriers.

Leaving there we headed home with the thought of having potato skins and hot wings for dinner. Had our mom grab the extra stuff we needed.

At home my sister cut up the pineapple and holy cow it was the best pineapple I've ever had! When I walked into the kitchen after it'd been cut all I could smell was the sweetness of the pineapple. Apparently it was just me who could smell it, but I think it didn't have anything to do with me being pregnant but more to do with the fact that my mom and sister were in the kitchen smelling it for a while. The fruit was indeed very sweet with that lovely tart bite to it. My mom ended up getting a few pieces for herself and I chowed down on the rest. It was absolutely delicious! There was a bag of candy corn right next to the fruit and it wasn't even appealing to me the pineapple was so yummy.

After a while I noticed a little bit of blood on the toilet paper but not much. Then, well after my sister had been doing pressure points on my back and then tickling my back, there was quite a bit of blood. So I'm thinking there's definitely some more effacement going on. Yay!

I really don't like trying to force my baby to come before its ready, but I need it to get here before the NMW wants to medically induce. I'm going to try and make sure I get the guy to tell me exactly what he's thinking in terms of when the baby should be here. Not that it should be his decision anyways but he's being annoying with thinking my baby's too big.

With luck the baby will come before the NMW goes bonkers about it. Really, induction won't work unless the body is already trying to go into labor. And remember, according to the days I most likely ovulated, November 7th is the more accurate due date.

So yeah, there's some progress going on. And crazy to think that if I make it through to the next midnight still pregnant I'll be one day past due.

Friday, November 4, 2011

39 Week Appointment

Hmm, first off, deja vu.

Anyway, for me it's still technically Thursday, even though it's 36 minutes into Friday. Well at 9:30am I had my 39 week appointment. I haven't gained any weight since last week, which is great because between the 37th and 38th week appointments I'd gained 5lbs (most of it from water retention).

Had the NMW check my cervix again, hoping something was different. He said everything was pretty much the same. So still 1 1/2cm dilated and 50% effaced. Bleh.

The ultrasound machine is saying my baby has gained another pound, estimating him at around 9lbs. I don't believe the thing. Unfortunately the NMW does. Knowing I haven't gained any weight means I've lost some and the baby gained what I lost. To me, that means the baby took from me what it needed, meaning that it got exactly what it needed and gained exactly the amount of weight that it should. So my baby is the right weight for it and I refuse to lump the little one in with what's considered "normal." There is no normal. It's just crap that doctors spout so they can make their patients do what they want. Most women aren't educated about pregnancy and whatnot so they're easily tricked into doing unnecessary things. Luckily I've looked into a lot of stuff and I've got a doula who will back me up on things.

Well, the NMW wanted to check my blood pressure a second time, like he's done the last two times, because my blood pressure taken by his assistant was again over 130. The first time it had gone down to 117 or 118 for the second check, the second time it went down to around 127, and this time it only went down to 130 (it was 135 from the assistant check).

Because of that he is having me do a 24 hour urine sample collection that will be taken to the hospital once it's done so they may check for signs of preeclampsia (toxemia). He doesn't really think it'll come back positive for it, but he'd rather be safe than sorry. As annoying as it is having to try and hold it while I put this little collection thing in the toilet and then have to dump the contents into a container, I'd rather make sure something isn't going wrong either.

I did ask him how long he'd let me go past my due date and first he said he wanted to wait until he checked my BP again, but he never gave me an answer. I'm going to ask him again when I talk to him about the results of the urine tests. When I mentioned what my views on going over were (that I don't want to go more than a week over) the tone in his voice and the look on his face told me he doesn't even want me to get to a week overdue. So I'm thinking he's going to want to induce me no matter what before the middle of next week.This all because he's letting a machine tell him what it thinks my baby weighs. Those machines can be off by 2lbs. For him to take it so seriously, to me, just shows me he's not got much faith in himself as a practitioner. While I've accepted him for now, I still stand by my choice that if I'm still in Fairbanks the next time I'm pregnant and I become considered high risk, I will not be seeing him.

So it wasn't the best appointment.

I'm still trying to do some pressure points the doula showed me. Had my middle sister help me with some tonight. They don't work right then and there and usually don't do much unless your body is already trying to go into labor. But I'm hoping things will progress. The doula will be coming by around 10am to do the pressure points on me herself.

The only good thing about my pregnancy today is that the last time I went to the bathroom, another piece of my mucus plug came out, so yay! That's something. After a week of nothing, it's nice to see something, even if it's something that can be regenerated before I give birth. I wish it would just all come out, though. Stop all this tiny piece by tiny piece dislodging. *fingers crossed*

Really don't want to be medically induced. I'm not even sure what the NMW would do first. If he would start my on pitocin from the get go, or if he would break my water first and see if that started things. I'd rather have my waters broke first than go with artificial hormones. Here's hoping.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


With 4 days left until my due date, I'm growing increasingly impatient. Remember there was all that stuff with the baby dropping and the bleeding? There was also some swelling of my calves and feet and some changes in parts of my body I won't mention. All of this was labor prep.

But then, after my last appointment with the nurse midwife, everything has seemed to come to a stand still. No more bleeding, no contractions real or preparatory, the swelling went down, etc. I met with the doula yesterday to go over pressure points that help move things along if the body is already ready for labor. I mentioned how everything seems to have stopped and she said that was normal. Just like how we get breaks between contractions, we get breaks during labor prep.

It's annoying! I was thinking, well, I'm 1 1/2cm dilated (so only 1/2cm more since the first check at 36 weeks) and 50% effaced (meaning my cervix is halfway thinned out, 100% means paper thin), then that means things could progress even more soon and the baby will be here!! Woohoo!

But it all stopped that day. I had bleeding from the cervical check of course but it was all done by the end of the day. I was even bleeding a bit before I went in, but now, nothing. I'm so impatient I want to cry!

I know I shouldn't wish this to be over too soon cause Lord knows when I'll be pregnant again, but still, I just want to meet my baby.

I've got everything done except pre-registering at the hospital so I'm totally ready but still, seems like the little one needs a little longer. *sigh*

Good news is that my middle sister is coming up for a bit. She'll be here midnight of Wednesday. Which means in a little less than 14 hours she'll be here!!!! I don't know if I'll be able to stay up so late. I might could force myself but then I'm afraid if I do that, then I'll screw up my nice new sleep schedule. I finally managed to sleep through the night once when I was super tired and went to bed around 7:30pm. Slept for 10 hours. Since then I've been getting tired around 9:30pm and so I'm in bed, at the latest, by 11pm and I wake up anywhere between 6 and 8am and I'm able to stay up all day. Except yesterday. I think I got up before I was ready so I ended up taking a two hour nap in the late afternoon. I might need a nap again today, though, I'm still pretty tired since I tossed and turned a lot last night and I only got up because I was getting hungry.

Blargh! I want to see my baby! lol. It's very frustrating. Baby's been less active lately thanks to having dropped so I miss my little one more than normal. Though, last night I had some fun because the baby was super active for a while. Hasn't been that active in a few weeks.

I could have a bit longer to go anyways. Thinking of the time I most likely ovulated, Nov. 7th is the more accurate due date. Really, it all comes down to lung development. So I can't try to force the baby out because I don't want to hurt it by not allowing all the necessary growth to finish. As cool as it would be to give birth closer to my birthday and when my best friend is here, wanting to see my baby is getting the better of me.

Hopefully baby will be done very soon.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Some Stuff

So Friday I noticed the baby has dropped. And it seems like once that happened stuff just started happening.

On Saturday I was in town with a friend. I didn't do much walking but what little I did was difficult because of the pain just below my stomach but above my pubic bone. I couldn't stand up straight or else it would hurt more. When I got home I noticed some blood, just enough to tinge the tissue a bit. But it was like that every time I went to the bathroom for a few hours. And then there were the two Braxton Hicks contractions I had that day. That makes three that I know of.

Sunday everything seemed fine, didn't have any pain or bleeding or contractions.

And I was pretty tired last night so I went to bed around 11:55pm. I woke up a few times and I could have gotten up but I felt just tired enough to roll over and go back to sleep.

Annoying part about sleeping, though, was the dreams. I've had a few dreams this pregnancy that have annoyed me. Last night had about three though I can only remember two.

One had me talking to my mom who was sitting on the couch and I showed her something on her computer. Since I was so close she leaned back a bit and managed to grab the right side of my belly and my right side between her shoulder and head and she started squeezing. It was uncomfortable at first and then just became painful. The feeling kind of like something heavy is sitting on your chest and slowly bearing down. I was yelling at her to stop when I finally woke up and I believe I'd been holding my breath. My belly felt odd so I might've been having a contraction, which could have been what prompted my mom squeezing my belly and side in the first place in the dream.

The other one I remember I was in a car, can't remember if I was driving or a passenger, but there was suddenly a kid in the road in front of us. We were going through a parking lot so we were going very fast but the brakes were applied quickly and it set off the adrenaline in me which caused me to wake up with a spasm in my tummy. That was the last one because I was getting tired of waking up feeling my stomach tighten because of the adrenaline released because of the dreams I was having. By that time it was just past 5am.

When I went to the bathroom then I noticed a bit of blood. Some ask me if it might be the whole bloody show but I don't think it is. That's usually the mucus plug and from the pictures I've seen, there's no way it's that. The closest thing I could find that fit (cause the other stuff was all for horrible things that also came with other symptoms) was that blood vessels break as the uterus contracts and the cervix dilates, causing some blood to appear. And since it seems I am having this bleeding shortly after my stomach has tightened for one reason or another, I'm thinking that's what's going on.

Now, at my last appointment, I declined getting a cervical check again until I'm at the hospital in labor. It just hurt too much to have to deal with it again before absolutely necessary. But I'm thinking I'm going to have the NMW check this Thursday at my 38 week appointment. Just to see if there've been any changes. If there has, then I won't get checked again until at the hospital because then I'll know what's causing the bleeding. I'm not looking forward to it, but I think it has to be done.

And now for some fun stuff! Yesterday and today the baby has taken to hanging out on my left side. Since then I've been able to feel its feet, at least one at a time, pressing against my right side. I never really had this when the baby was on my right. But it's so cute! XD I'll feel the foot against my side and put my hand there and I can make out the heel. It's so tiny! I can't wait to get to hold my little one. After being well acquainted with baby's little rear as it's shoved up into my ribs before the baby dropped, I'm going to be so silly having giggle fits when I get to see that little rump and pat it directly lol. And now that I've been able to feel the foot I can't wait to touch it for real.

Only 12 more days until my due date!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Residual Emotions

I'm not sure if this has an actual name but residual emotion is the best name for it. You know when you have a dream and something in it happens that makes you feel an emotion very strongly, then you wake up really soon after and you still feel that emotion for a while after waking up? That's residual emotion.

The reason why I'm talking about it is because during a nap I had a dream where I was meeting up with some chicks I hadn't seen in a while. Some were women I knew in school and some were my middle sister's old friends. They exclaimed over my belly and I enjoyed all the talk about how cute I looked and all.

One of my sister's friends wanted to see if she could feel parts of the baby through my stomach. With the way my dream was, I could actually feel my baby's arm so I showed her where it was. She grabbed it suddenly and kind of pinched it, startling my little one.

This made me mad and feel super protective of my baby. When I got up I was still feeling a bit pissed and wished I could hold my baby in my arms.

I've had the whole residual stuff with a few other dreams but I pretty much always have it after baby dreams.

I can't wait to meet my baby. Two weeks and two days until my due date.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Getting Closer

So Saturday marked week 37 for me. Today makes only 19 days until my estimated due date. My little one seems perfectly content to stay there for a while longer, which is good but I am definitely getting antsy. I can't wait to see what my baby looks like! Also can't wait to hold the little one.

Went to a baby shower on Saturday and one of the other guests brought her 2-week-old with her. He was just adorable! Completely zonked out, too. I could have just stared at him forever! So incredibly sweet and when he stretched and scrunched up his face because people were too crowded around him or messing with him too much, I just wanted to melt!

Now, if only my nesting instinct would kick in so I could figure out what to do with the stuffed animals I put in the pack n play. Luckily I don't have my entire collection with me or else there'd be no room for anything. If the heat wasn't floor heating I could just set them in a neat pile on the floor between the bed and the outside wall, but I've gotta leave the floor as uncovered as I can or else it won't be warm enough for me and baby. This is a problem.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Braxton Hicks

Contractions. Yup. Well, one that I know of. I tried going to bed a little after midnight today because I felt really tired. The three hours of sleep were awful. I mean, I was sleeping, but for some reason just kept waking up uncomfortable and couldn't tell why. I wasn't hurting, I was just restless.

Finally a little after 3am I said forget it and got up, knowing I'd be up for a few hours, thus messing up my schedule even more. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and then went into the kitchen to look for a snack. I was incredibly uncomfortable walking around. It felt like my baby was sitting way high up, pushing against the top of my uterus as hard as it could. The baby normally likes to do that while I'm sitting, but this was a bit different. It was more uncomfortable than it normally is.

They say with a BH your entire stomach gets super hard. Well the top was but along the sides and on the bottom it's harder to tell because of the little bit of fat on the sides and then the thicker layer on the bottom of my stomach.

After I sat back in bed the hardness on top continued, as did the discomfort. But after a little bit I realized I wasn't so uncomfortable anymore and I felt my stomach and all around it was much softer. That's when I realized I must have had a BH contraction. It's the only one that I know of, I might have had others because lately my naps and sometimes my sleep at night I'm restless and uncomfortable and just don't know why. I couldn't tell where the discomfort was coming from this morning until I got out of bed so I'm thinking I've probably been having them for a bit now.

I've got 3 more weeks as of tomorrow. I've felt a bit more change in me today, can't explain it though so I'm not going to try, but it's just...different.

And according to the birthing class info, a woman can be in early labor for hours, days, even weeks. They consider early labor 0-3cm dilation with sporadic contractions. I think I had an actual contraction during the last day of the class. Everyone keeps saying an actual contraction feels like a period cramp, starting in that area down there and growing steadily stronger to the peak and then slowly subsiding and your stomach gets hard. I had a cramp-like pain during the last class that did get worse for a bit and then it subsided. I tried moving around a little to make it stop and it didn't do anything. Just had to get through it. It wasn't painful exactly, just super annoying. I mean, I've been through period cramps before that were the same level of intensity as this so I can deal, but it's not fun having them in public. At least it'll be a bit before I experience the cramp feeling like the cramps I during my last period. I've never been in so much pain before. The period lasted 3 days and the first two days I was in so much pain I had to take a vicodin to help. When the pain stopped after taking stuff I wanted to cry it was such a relief. Not looking forward to that kind of pain, but at least this time it'll be worth it.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

36 Week Update

Today I'm 36 weeks and 5 days so it's not right on the mark but meh.

So nothing much different. Still annoyed with the GD diet and all. Though I'm not as strict as I was in the beginning. And thanks to last week's birthing class and then my mom's hubby being gone from Thursday until Monday evening, there was a lot of food eaten that wasn't made at home.

Let's see there was twice I had a personal pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut thanks to my oldest sister sending me and awesome $30 gift certificate. There was an Asian bowl meal from the grocery store deli and a little bit of regular soda. There was Taco Bell, more pizza hut, and I think the last Thursday in September my mom and I went to a Thai place for lunch.

So it's not surprising that my weight today at the OB clinic was up 5lbs from two weeks ago. It's no big deal to me. I know about a pound of that is all baby and some of it is water weight and I'm glad to not have lost anything. I was stuck at having only gained 12lbs for 4 weeks because I was losing weight but my baby was gaining it.

Yeah there was birthing class last week. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 6pm-8:30pm. Though every single class ended at 10pm. -_-' I learned a lot about what the hospital in town here does and so I'm not bothered by giving birth there anymore. They want the women to give birth on their own and by that I mean they prefer to not do inductions or c-sections unless medically necessary. They will put the monitors on you and whatnot but they have monitors for if you want to walk around the hall, so if you don't get an epidural, or until you get an epidural, you aren't stuck in your bed.

My mom realized even more so that I would need a doula at my delivery. We had to have our partners in the class try out some of the back labor relief stuff on us and it requires some strength that my mom just barely has and wouldn't be able to use it for more than a few seconds.

I got in contact with one doula yesterday and she said she couldn't take me on because she was 37 weeks pregnant but she did want my permission to send my e-mail I sent her to her friend who is a doula and has the same amount of experience. I said sure and I've already been contacted by her, just need to reply. So with luck I'll have a doula soon and that's good since I've got just over 3 weeks to go until my due date.

Today I had my 36 week appointment with the nurse midwife- and dang I forgot to get him to give me the rhogam shot! Oh well, next week. Anyway since it's 36 weeks I got the lovely group B strep swab.

So any of you who have not looked into what important tests are done during your third trimester, ooooh you need to go look. No one tells you these things! But I will! Still, go look. The group B strep swab is to check to see if you are negative or positive for group B strep. This isn't something that will harm you. It's something to do with an overabundance of the bacteria down there or something.

To get the culture, your vagina and your anus have to be swabbed. That's right, it's bad enough someone's gotta see your hoo-ha but now they get to look especially at your butt! For me it was super awkward cause I've really gotta spread my legs since I've got some thighs or else whatever professional needs to get there has to deal with moving lips aside down there and it's not fun for me.

But, I will tell you I would rather deal with the awkwardness from that every single week than deal with getting my cervix checked. Holy cow did that hurt! Well I mean it was super uncomfortable with a pinching sensation and then you've got the whole awkward factor of the person sticking their fingers right up in you. You don't have to deal with that during paps. They may have to stick them in a little while they do that thing where they feel around on the outside of your as well, but a cervical check means fingers all the way in.

This is why I don't care for male professionals in that area. It just adds to the awkwardness. *shudder*

Well as I already figured, the NMW said that the baby seems pretty in there and most likely won't be coming out too soon. I'm only 1cm dilated but most women are by this time in the pregnancy. My cervix ripened weeks ago so it's not a surprise. Oh, did I tell you about the cervix ripening? Yet another thing they don't tell you and I wish they did. I'll get to it in a bit.

NMW also said he liked where my blood sugars have been at after meals and he gave me a quick ultrasound. There aren't any more good pictures because baby is just so big there's not enough room to really see much. But you can make out all the stuff. So I got a lovely little picture of my baby's super chubby cheeks and his hand in front of his nose. If I had been able to find my DVD for this, I could have gotten the shot of the baby's hair. Yup! Despite not having really any heartburn, my baby's going to have a nice amount of hair. It was really cute cause it was standing on end haha!

So it's all pretty normal. Only a few more weeks and my baby will be in my arms and I can't wait! My mom says the women in our family tend to give birth within a few days of the due date so my little one should be right about on time.

Now, as for the cervical ripening. I had never heard of this until some of the women in the forum I go to were talking about their cervix being checked and whatnot. And I realized I hadn't felt mine in ages. If you're a woman and have never felt your cervix, you should try, it's interesting. Someone said it's got the give in it like the soft spot between the thumb and index finger and I don't know what they were talking about. It's harder than that, almost like your gums but it does have a little give.

Well I figured I'd just check it, see if maybe it had shortened any, though that's hard to tell because sitting different ways can make it easier to get to or harder. The next time I went to the bathroom, after I cleaned up and all, I checked and was incredibly grossed out. Where my nice smooth, hard cervix should was was this very squishy, kind of wrinkly feeling thing. The best word to describe it would be soggy. It felt soggy. Bleh!

I could tell it was my cervix cause it was in the right place and then I could feel the place where the hole is. Yeah, I was super grossed out and a little freaked because no one told me this would happen. Of course the women on the board were no help. I put up a thread asking about it and the only person to reply was someone from another due date club and only after I resorted to Google and already found out.

So, ladies, I'm not sure when it's supposed to happen, I think it's different for each woman, but near or in your third trimester, your cervix will ripen. It will become super soft so it's easier for it to dilate. It's really gross feeling, at least in my opinion anyway. But it's normal. So if you feel the need to try feeling for your cervix during the end of pregnancy, don't be surprised at what's there.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Something Interesting and Something Annoying

Well as of today I have 5 weeks (35 days) to go until my due date. Crazy! I can't believe how fast time has gone.

So the interesting thing is...wait lol, I suddenly really want Pizza Hut -_-' Yeah this is what happens to me. And no, this isn't the interesting thing. It's like my nose has gone haywire all pregnancy. I'll suddenly get a whiff of something and it'll smell like some really delicious food. Right now I'm smelling the scent of the crust on a Pizza Hut pizza. It's not fun. I have no money to go and get even a $4.48 personal pan and there's no way I can get my mom to give me the money to go get it. *sigh*

Okay, back to the interesting thing. And this will help any of you pregnant women who may stumble across this blog who have been experiencing the same thing and are wondering what the hell it is.

About once a day, when the baby is moving around, I'll hear what sounds like knuckles cracking. But the sound is so soft it's more like when you curl your toes and a joint in your big toe cracks. It's just a little click noise coming from my tummy. It's uncommon apparently, but still common enough. Though it's not common enough for medical people to really try and figure out what it is. They just take an educated guess.

Based on the way it sounds and that it happens when the baby is moving, they say it's most likely just the baby's joints clicking. I mean, it sounds like knuckles cracking, and it only happens when the baby moves, so it makes sense. The good thing is that it's perfectly harmless, whatever it is. So if you've been hearing clicks and cracks from your little one, don't worry.

And the annoying thing? The fact that after some hours of lying in bed trying to get some decent sleep, there's a spot between the bottom of my tummy and the top of the pubic bone that freaking hurts! No position can fix it. The only way to fix it is to actually stop trying to sleep. I have to get up and move around for it to stop. Then I can go back to the bed and sit up in it on the computer and I'm fine. I'm thinking part of the pain comes from just the way the baby has settled in the night and the moving around gets the little one out of the way.

Normally it only starts to happen after abut 8 hour in bed. But not today. Just over 5 hours and it came on full force. I tried to ignore it but it just got worse until I felt that a knife to that spot would hurt much less. I haven't thought about a knife to that spot since January when I had my last period. That was the worst period I've ever experienced. I needed vicodin to take the pain away. Normally my cramps are uncomfortable, but they're never excruciating. Those were. I remember saying something like, "If these hurt, and being in labor hurts worse, I don't know how I'll deal when I have a child." And lo and behold just two weeks later I conceive. I swear January was full of premonitions about my having a child.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Wiggle Worm

While I do love feeling my little one move around, there are times when I just want to jab my stomach to make it stop.

They're few and far between, but they still happen. One such time was yesterday. I was trying to get a nap in (thanks to lower back pain that's not able to be ignored in the morning I don't get enough sleep) and it was going pretty well. The day before I'd tried to take a nap but the pain in my lower back started as soon as I laid down and wouldn't quit. So yesterday's nap was nice. I woke up a little because I'd rolled over and this caused the baby to wake up, too. So while I was drifting back into sleep, the baby was busy moving around. The moving around makes me smile and so I was nicely dozing back off while feeling little thumps and rolls in my tummy.

Then, just as I was slipping into a dream, baby decides it wants to stretch quickly. So it pushes against the front of my stomach, causing me so much pain my eyes snap open and I gasp. It was all over in a matter of seconds and it felt like just a dream after that but it happened and it freaking hurt!

After that, the next time I wanted to poke the baby so it would quit was last night as I was laying down for bed. I was in the middle of saying my nightly prayers and being on my side always wakes the baby up after I've been sitting for a while, so it began wiggling away.

At some point during the day the baby managed to change to my left side. Most of the time it loves being on my right, with its hands and feet on my left. But as I was lying there I could feel a big mass as the bed pushed against my tummy on my left side so I knew the baby had moved.

Well while the baby was moving around, I guess it wanted to go back to my right side because it began pushing with its feet against my right side and its back would push and slide against my left causing a very weird feeling that almost hurt. It was super uncomfortable.

I had to stop my prayers to rub my stomach, hoping that would get the baby to stop for a bit, but it didn't. As soon as I was back to saying my prayers the little one started trying to make its way back to my right side. Luckily I was almost done and when I finished the baby decided to try one more time to get over and I couldn't help myself I had to laugh. It was funny and annoying all at the same time.

I rolled over to fall asleep on my right side (normally I start on my left until I'm relaxed enough and then I roll over and sleep) so that gravity would help my baby get to where it wanted to be. It didn't take long and it didn't hurt. So now the baby's happily back on it's favorite side, sticking it's little butt into my ribs, haha.

I love it when my baby moves around. It's so much fun!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

An Update

Well I haven't been told anything about taking the 3-hour GTT. That's okay now, though, it's pretty obvious I've got gestational diabetes. One morning I checked my sugars and then my mom wanted to check hers. We were both in the mid-80s.

I had 1/3c cooked cream of wheat and I think 8oz of milk, she had 2 pancakes with syrup, a sunnyside up egg, and a cup of coffee with splenda.

After an hour, my sugars were 135 (give or take 1 or 2 points) and hers were 79. I've had cream of wheat again since then and my body just can't handle it. Really, my body can't handle carbs when I first get up, so there are no carbs for breakfast, unless I get something super small. I had two pieces of french toast and 12 almonds one morning and that had my sugars under 120, which was weird.

I did figure out a yummy banana chocolate smoothie that I could have for breakfast and my sugars were under 110. But I guess my body is now used to it or something and my sugars have been rising with each time I have it. I had it yesterday morning and my sugars were 135! It made absolutely no sense. The recipe wasn't changed in the least. So I can't have that for breakfast anymore, which sucks because it was quick, easy, and delicious!

This morning I ate two pieces of ham and 2 egg whites. It was extremely hard getting all that down. I don't like yolks, which is why I eat the whites, but I've have had to have eggs so much lately that they're about to make me sick when I eat them. And ham is nice, but I prefer it on biscuits, not by itself. Sugars were 94, though, so protein for breakfast it is. My midwife said I should just do dinner for breakfast instead of going for the regular breakfast foods.

I used to be so angry about having GD. So much so that all I could fantasize about was punching my nurse midwife in the face, like it was somehow his fault. I wanted to cry each time I thought about how I had to give birth in the hospital. And it's not the fact that I don't get a water birth. It's the thought that people may not listen to me as well as they may get carried away and become frenzied. And if they get that way, I'm sure as hell going to start freaking out, which will make them most likely sit there and talk to me like I'm a two-year-old, telling me to calm down and whatnot. If that happens, all hell is going to break loose. The word loathe doesn't even begin to describe how much I hate being told to calm down. I could probably go on a murderous rampage one day if someone says that to me. I can only imagine how I'd be while in pain from labor and someone telling me to calm down.

So yeah, the thought of a hospital birth isn't a fun one. I just want it calm and I want things to be done my way unless something happens and for the safety of me and/or the baby things need to be done differently. I was getting angry because I thought the nurses and my nurse midwife were going to do things their way. But the other week I was talking to my oldest sister and she was telling me about having a doula. She had one with her daughter.

She said a doula is great! And, really, that's all I hear from people. My sister said that the doula would speak for her because though she could think straight, she couldn't seem to vocalize stuff. So the doula spoke for her, making sure things were done the way my sister wanted.

That right there has got me looking into getting a doula. I wasn't going to get one while I was thinking I was going to be giving birth at the birthing center. Everything I wanted, they did. And so when I knew I'd be giving birth in the hospital it didn't cross my mind and so I became stressed. But now, I'm not angry anymore. I'm not panicking about a hospital birth. If I can have a doula, then I will have someone who will be firm for me. I'm not sure if I could be firm. I don't like confrontation so I usually just let people have what they want. I might could be firm but if I'm in intense pain I'll probably be focusing on keeping my mouth shut because I can be a real bitch. I imagine I would be yelling at people.

Other than that, the little one has found my ribs with its butt, if I haven't already mentioned that. It's not too bad throughout the day. Only every once in a while does the baby managed to wedge itself under my ribs while I'm just doing whatever. It's when I go to the bathroom that the baby gets up under there every single time. Makes it really hard to clean up because I bend from my actual waist, which only pushes it further into my ribs and then it hurts.

And with the decreased amount of sugar and carbs I get in a day, I've noticed more movement. When I do get more than I should, the baby moves around for about a minute or two and then just falls asleep for a good long while. But, if I eat right, it's moving a lot throughout the day.

Also, the way I have to eat for dealing with the GD is frustrating. It was annoying at first but now that I've gotten to where I get hungry about every hour, it's gotten me so annoyed I could scream. It's hard to split your meals into every two hours so you can keep good track of your blood sugars when barely an hour after you've eaten, your stomach is growling for more.

And after talking to the midwife about how annoying the diet is, she's having me try out what she does to keep her sugars in check. She doesn't have diabetes but she's got it on both sides of her family (like I do) and she doesn't want to have it when she gets older. So she wrote down the guidelines and gave them to me.

Pretty much, though, if you've got GD you need to go on the Atkins Diet. The less carbs and sugar you have and the more protein, the better. So this means lots of meat for me. That's not an easy thing. I'm not big on meat. Give me seafood to eat pretty much every day and I'll be happy. I love fish, crab, lobster, scallops, shrimp, etc. I'm an ocean kind of girl. I love how light but flavorful everything is. It doesn't weigh on my stomach. And seafood has loads of protein in it. Other than that I'll eat a bit of chicken, but I'm not that good with beef. I'll also happily eat pork or turkey, but those are things I don't get much.

Oh and I'm starting to think even more that my nurse midwife is a bit of an idiot. Sorry to him but I don't like some of the things he says and does.

He never brings my chart in when I have an appointment. He never tells me what to expect in the coming week or at the next appointment. And at my last appointment, the ultrasound machine estimated the weight of my baby at 4 1/2lbs. He said that's pretty big. That my baby should be around 3 1/2lbs. When I got home, I looked it up and everything I've read says that around 32 weeks my baby should be between 4 and 4 1/2lbs. Even the stuff the midwives have tells them the same thing. And I know that the machines can be off by as much as 2lbs but still, the nurse midwife thinks 4 1/2lbs is huge for 32 weeks (I'm 33 weeks now). Where did he get his info from?

Besides, all the ultrasounds I've had said the baby's measuring a bit ahead (in terms of length of body). So if that's the case, then a little extra weight doesn't seem that bad, if my baby had that, which he doesn't seem to.

It's no wonder my middle sister's preceptor doesn't like this guy.

Not to mention, the man hasn't said anything about giving me another rhogam shot. It's been 12 weeks since I had it and that's as long as they last. I have to get it again so it will work during my delivery. So it's up to me to tell him to give that to me. Not even sure if I'll get it at the next appointment because I think something happened and he's got too many patients that day or he'll be out of the office, but I'll be seeing another person who works there. This one is a woman and I wonder if she'll be better than him. If she is, I wonder if I could switch to her.

I'm not comfortable with the nurse midwife. With the midwives at the birthing center I was comfortable and could ask questions if I had them and talk about things, but with this guy...I'm too afraid to ask about stuff. I was amazed I had the courage to ask him about doulas. I wanted to see if any of his previous patients had doulas and if so, was there one in common that was said to be really good. I think he was a bit offended. He said that the few of his patients who had doulas, most of them worked with this one woman and he said she was really good. But I'm thinking I'll go with someone else because I don't want a doula who may be good friends with this guy.

Anyways, not much else. Baby's doing fine, moving a bunch and all. Got 7 weeks to go and I can't believe my belly is going to get bigger. Sleep is going to get even worse, too. I don't sleep well now because the hip that touches the bed will hurt after a bit so I have to constantly roll over to the other side. But now my lower back has begun to hurt as well and then there's some pain under my belly and it doesn't go away no matter what position I switch to .

Friday, September 2, 2011

Gestational Diabetes

I've been crap at keeping the big things on here. So at 28 weeks (close to 3 weeks ago) I have my 1 hour glucose test. I had to get up the morning of it and eat a breakfast high in protein, low in carb. I had two eggs, a slice of 12 grain bread with some peanut butter spread over it.

Then, 45 minutes before my appointment I had to drink this stuff called glucola. Sadly, it was the unflavored stuff so it just tasted like sugar water, blegch. I've heard the flavored stuff is nasty but I was kind of disappointed it was plain, haha! The stuff is chock full of sugar, way more than I ever have in one sitting.

Well got the call last week that I failed it and would have to have an appointment with my nurse midwife to go over what was to happen next and talk about taking the 3 hour test. So I got to my appointment with the guy (yes, my nurse midwife is a man), and he tells me my sugars were 212. The range is 130-200. If you're over 130 you fail the 1 hour and have to take the 3 hour. Well he said that because I'm over 200 the 3 hour test is out the window and he's just going to assume I have gestational diabetes (here on out called GD). This meant that I could no longer deliver at the birthing center and would have to do that at the hospital. I would stop seeing the midwives and my option of a water birth was snatched away from me. It also meant I have to go on a special diet and check my blood sugars 4 times a day.

So I've met with the dietician and have been on the diet since Tuesday (August 30). Supposedly my diet is supposed to have 2,000 calories in it, but I can tell you there is no way it does. Each meal is small and healthy so there's few calories. Which does not sit well with me because I'm wondering if my baby is getting everything it needs.

It's a lot of label reading. High protein, low carb. And it's crazy what has carbs in it. Milk and fruit. Like, I can have HALF a banana for 1 carb choice (I get around 2 to 3 carb choices, which include milk and fruit as well as starch, per meal) because it's got 15grams of carbs in it! So fruit is kept to a minimum.

I've got to look at the amount of carbs, protein, and fat in each thing I eat. It's tedious but it's necessary. I could never do this diet if it was just for me. But it's for my baby, and anyone that knows me knows I'm better at doing things that affect me if they're for other people. Or like when I lost a bunch of weight back in 2004, I did that because I had to exercise at least 5 days a week for school.

The hardest part about this diet is trying to put together a meal. Even snacks are annoying. Meat is the easiest way to get protein but you really don't think of having that for breakfast and if you're like me, even for lunch. But then, I can only have 3oz. It's small. I'm hungry about every 2 hours because the meals are so small and insubstantial.

I've been trying to find some sites that give a bunch of different meal ideas but so far I've found nothing. So I'm hoping to change that by blogging about what I do during these last 9 weeks of my pregnancy. I hope to put up some great meal ideas and some recipes so that others looking for help can find it here.

On the good news side of this mess, I went to what I thought was my last midwife appointment at the birthing center yesterday (Thursday, Sept. 1). The midwife I met with was not one of my usual ones because they were all out of town. But she was very nice, I really liked her. She was like a mix between my main midwife (who's a bit more business than the others) and the really happy, sweet midwife. When I mentioned my GD she said, "Oh! I know who you are now." Then went on to tell me how my main midwife was talking to all the others about my predicament.

The consensus there was that my sugars weren't through the roof and they would like for me to take the 3 hour test. I was only supposed to get a consult from the nurse midwife. And this midwife, she said my main midwife, we'll call her V, was NOT happy when she heard the guy had just taken me on.

The guy told me that it's regular procedure to just take the 3 hour test off the table but I think it's more because he gets money if I see him. I don't like him as much as I did when I first met with him.

But the midwife yesterday said that my regular midwives will talk to the nurse midwife about letting me take the 3 hour. The woman said she'd make a note in my records that I WANT the 3 hour. It's not just in hope that I can pass it, it's more to see how bad my GD might be if I've got it.

So I think the midwives will schedule me for one and if I pass it I'll get to go back to them ^_^ I was on cloud 9 yesterday because of that news. But I will still remain on the GD diet and I'm thinking of alternating appointments between the birthing center and the OB clinic, that way I can get more comfy with the nurse midwife and make sure he knows what I want for my delivery should I have to go to the hospital.

Here's hoping I get to take the test and I pass it! I so badly want the calm, homey atmosphere of the birthing center.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Random #2

Earlier today I'm just sitting here at the computer when all the sudden it feels like baby's having a seizure or something in there. Just flailing around like mad and then suddenly stopping. It always scares me when the baby does that. Makes me want to poke it and yell at it for scaring me haha!

Course, nothing's wrong, little one just felt like flipping out.

Also, baby's getting closer and closer to my ribs on my right side. Only mere inches away now. Last night I felt it moving around up there and so I pushed on it a bit and it triggered a pain lower down where it's head was. I wasn't even pushing very hard. 

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Random #1

I keep forgetting to post stuff on here. It's usually because I feel more like this should be for big things and not just small stuff that happens here and there. A Twitter feed would be more appropriate for small things, but I absolutely refuse to get a Twitter account.

So first random thing is I got up around 10:50am because my stomach was growling. If I wasn't pregnant, I would have ignored it and gone back to sleep. Buuuut since I gotta feed the little one I got up and went into the kitchen in search of food.

Only thing I could think to eat was an orange. I've had orange juice so baby has had that before, but I wondered if there might be anything different if I had the actual orange.

Sitting on the bed, watching Teen Mom and eating an orange and baby goes wild. Little one really enjoyed it, haha! I hate it when baby goes for days not being very active and that's what's been going on recently. So feeling it move a bunch was nice. And right now baby has decided to push up against the laptop. Baby loves it when I type a bunch. My typing always get it to moving around a lot.

Oh, and I'm seriously thinking about getting some Taco Bell. It just sounds so good for some reason. I haven't had it since March. I got it then and it sat on my stomach for over 5 hours not digesting. It sucked. I felt cranky and super tired until I finally got mad enough to go and force myself to vomit. Seriously, it was like my stomach had just stopped digesting stuff. Afterwards I felt great and wasn't tired anymore. Oh and I really loathe throwing up and will only do it if I'm nauseous enough to where I can't help it or if something I ate is not sitting right with me and refuses to let up or digest. It's a last resort thing.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Might Be Alone

I just found out that my best friend is going to be here on November 9th. This really bites because she told me she was going to be here in late October.

She promised me she was going to be at the birth of my kid. With the way baby measured at the last ultrasound, it could be born before she gets here.

If that happens the most likely, during the worst part of the delivery, it'll just be me and the midwives in the birthing room. My mom can't stay in the room the entire time or else she'll faint. She can't handle seeing people in pain.

And I hear that with how things are with a woman's body and all during delivery, I won't exactly notice what's going on around me, but still, the though of it just being me for the most part makes me incredibly sad.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

My Pregnancy So Far

On March 3, 2011 I got my positive

On April 6, 2011 I had my first ultrasound at around 10 weeks

On May 11, 2011 I had my second ultrasound at my first appointment with my nurse midwife around 14 weeks 

At 20 weeks and 1 day I took the first (technically second) belly shot

And continued this each week (though I missed the 24th and 25th weeks)

21w 1d

22w 2d

23w 4d

26w 1d

I've certainly come a long way in just 6 weeks

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Mmm Chocolate Milkshake

Had one from McDonald's last night. That means that it was okay but not very good. They make it way too sweet and way too runny.

Anyways, a few minutes after I started drinking it, baby started going berserk! Guess I got me a chocolate lover -_-' lol. I'm not a big fan of chocolate, too rich for me most of the time.

Baby was just going wild for hours last night and it's so cute because it make my belly pop so I can watch it lol.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Just a Small Update

I sometimes forget to post here.

Well the round ligament pain finally went away, thank goodness! It hurt, yes, but was more annoying than anything else. Don't remember when it went away but it's been gone for a few days now.

By the midwives' count (since they're going to stick with Nov. 5th as the due date) I'll be 25 weeks tomorrow. Only 15 more weeks to go! I can't remember if it was yesterday or the day before or what but my ticker said 110 days to go. That's crazy! Soon I'll be in the double digits for countdown! O_O Where does the time go!? So close to getting to meet my little one ^_^ I can't wait to see what they look like. Pretty much all babies are born with blue eyes but I'm really hoping my kid will actually have blue eyes. Since the kid will have my last name it'll be strange if they end up with brown eyes. From what I know, no one in my family with my last name as brown eyes. Not even hazel eyes. And my kid will most likely have brown or black hair so dark hair with blue eyes would be absolutely gorgeous! And my kid will most likely have slightly almond-shaped eyes since the FOB is half Native Alaskan.

And I can't wait to see what kind of personality my kid ends up having! Though that is a bit further off than just wondering about looks.

Also, I totally forgot to put this up way earlier but I've been able to feel baby's kicks and some movement from the outside. Though most of the time I don't get to because the kid knows when  move to put my hand on my stomach to feel the movement and so stops moving. I've gotten to feel it a few times. Mostly, though, I'll just be sitting and watching TV and I'll feel it moving around and then it'll get some kicks or jumps in there and I'll notice my belly jump from the movement lofl!

Baby's schedule has gotten messed up somehow so when it's up it's up for about 4 hours and just moves around like mad then sleeps for an hour or two. When the baby's up it's fun because of all the movement. My favorite moments are when it does something inside me that tickles the heck outta me. I can't wait to get it back and tickle it.

And now that my uterus is higher up I felt movement about two inches above and to the left of my belly button. That was fun since it's so new.

Sucky thing today was that I think the actual prenatal vitamins make me sick. I took one to taste it (they're gummy ones) and about 20 minutes later as I was finishing my dinner I started feeling nauseous. I had to go throw up. It sucked. It was a really good dinner too and now it means I've only had two small slices of zucchini bread, 3/4 of a Tostino's party pizza, some milk, and two homemade cookies to eat today. I need to find something to eat now, even though it's around 10:30pm. Going to try the vitamins again tomorrow after I eat something and see if I still get nauseous. Because it could have been that I ate it too far before my meal and I hadn't eaten for about 5 or 6 hours so my stomach was pretty empty, or it could have been the broccoli. I love broccoli and it didn't make me feel queasy to eat it, but the last time I was nauseous was when my mom made broccoli, stewed potatoes, and moose meatloaf and she forgot about the broccoli and so it was overcooked and the mushy texture made me sick. So we'll see.

I know the regular one a day multi-vitamins I used to take before I got pregnant would make me sick if I took them with either too little or nothing on my stomach. So that could very well be the case here. I really don't want to continue with the Flintstones Complete because I'm getting sick of those things and they are starting to taste disgusting to me now. Well, here's hoping it's just and easy fix!

Oh and I got a swing, a travel size pack n play (since there's no room for a regular one or a crib in my room), a baby bath tub, a portable booster chair with a tray for meals, a special plate and bowl from Japan just for my baby when they get older ^_^, and my middle sister got me tons of clothes!

The swing looks pretty much brand new and it works great and I got it for $5 at a yard sale! Woohoo! The next thing (or things, really) I need are the cloth diapers. I'm a little scared to be doing the cloth diapers, I feel like it could be harder than I think it will be but I still really want to try it. I've seen some incredibly adorable ones people have made themselves for their little ones and I would love to do that someday. So just need a starter kit for now. I wanna go check out this store in town that I know has them because I need to see more in person so I can see how they are. Hopefully will get to do that tomorrow when me, my mom, and middle sister go shopping for stuff for the double shower on Sunday!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Round Ligament Pain

I've had this for the past few days. It's annoying! Every time I roll over in bed it hurts. Every time I stand up after sitting for a while, it hurts! And then for most of the day I have an aching in my lower abdomen under where my stomach sticks out.

Wonder how long it's supposed to last.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

All Sorts of Things

I try very hard to be a happy person but even I have my limits. Those of us who show the rest of the world a humorous or joyous side pretty much every single time we're out and about just have more crap building up behind the scenes.

I can't wait until the majority of my stress and worries is about the baby and everything else that I get down thinking about or dealing with takes a back seat. But for the moment I have to try and focus on other things besides what gets me down and it's difficult.


I haven't eaten for about 3 hours and I'm starting to get hungry. It's so hard to figure out what to eat and even harder when it feels like there's nothing really to make. Being overweight and pregnant I want to try and eat as healthy as I can, restricting junk food to a minimum so I don't have to worry about gestational diabetes, but it's difficult when it's so easy to just run out to a fast food place and grab something.
I wish I could figure out all these meals I'd like to eat for a week and get the stuff. But I'm pretty crazy when it comes to having to actually want to eat it that day. So I could do all that but then it would most likely end up that I don't want to eat any of it during the week it was gotten for. 
I feel like I'm depriving my baby of its nutrition, even though I take all my vitamins everyday. Yesterday I realized I'd only had two meals. I ate a bowl of dry mini wheats around 10am and didn't eat again until about 3pm and that was Burger King. I got the chicken fries meal but something was wrong with me and it was all I could do to eat all the fries and I only ate 6 of the 9 chicken fries. I mean, it's not bad to not eat all of a meal, especially if it's fast food, but still. I want to make sure I'm eating at least well in the sense that my baby is getting food, even if it's not particularly healthy. 
I should sit down with my mom and see about me and her planning out the meals for the next two weeks. If I have some help in thinking of what to eat, it'll be easier. And if there's a meal planned, I will gladly cook it if my mom would like it ready soon after she gets home. I just don't like cooking when I have to think of what to make. It gets frustrating.
Haha and the writer in me is cringing over the fact that pretty much all the paragraphs in this post begin with, "I".

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


This morning when I got up I went to pee and when I wiped, there was some blood in the normal discharge. Just enough to stain it a pink color. Wasn't really worried, more like, what the heck?

Must've gone pee like 4 more times before my nap and didn't have anything else. I figured it was just a one time thing because I'd even gone to the store for food and to Blockbuster. The only thing all the walking around did was trigger the pain in my hip. I've been having pain in the left side of my hip from last week sometime when I did the dishes. I guess I bent over wrong to get stuff out/put stuff in the bottom rack of the dishwasher and since then it's been hurting after doing a bit of walking.

It's really beginning to hurt right now. I want to take a tylenol but I don't want to rely on them. I also don't want to take a tylenol just in case I should start cramping. If I do then I might not know it if I've got pain reliever in my system.

Well anyways, when I got up from my nap I had a little bit of blood again. Same amount as before, just enough to stain the discharge. Went pee about two more times and about two hours ago I went pee and this time there had been enough blood to come out of my vagina and was between my lips down there. It was pink but definitely a lot more blood than just enough to stain a dime size amount of discharge.

So I called the birthing center, knowing I'd get the answering service. She did try to put me through to one of the midwives but only one was on call tonight and she was busy. So I waited. About 20 minutes later the midwife called me back.

I told her what had happened and she said it'd be a good idea to go into the birthing center tomorrow. I'm to meet her there at 9am. She will give me the Rhogam shot now instead of waiting since I am B- and bleeding. And she said that as soon as she gets in tomorrow she'll call the ultrasound clinic and have them call me to set up an appointment that day so they can check see if it might be caused by a low lying placenta or if they can see if something else is going on.

She did ask if they'd said anything about a low lying placenta at my last ultrasound and I told her no. I saw the placenta myself. It's been at the top of my uterus for a while now. It's directly above my baby. My baby is in a sitting position like one would be in a chair, its head pointing up. Its always been on my right side but in the middle of the night last night it finally managed to change positions and is not on my left side, so all the kicks are now to the right.

I'm not really worried since the baby is still moving around and I can feel it, but bleeding can lead to problems so they have to be checked and if bad enough, monitored.The midwife said if it gets worse tonight to just go ahead into the ER. So worse means the blood increases or I start cramping. As I've been typing this, the pain in my hip has been radiating to the side so I can feel it on my right side now and has been radiating forward on my left side.

What could happen is that somehow I end up with a low lying placenta and I'll have to have some bed rest. I couldn't be put on total bed rest because I'd need to be able to get up and get me food and all. And the worst thing that could happen is I end up with placenta previa. That means the placenta is around my cervix. There are three types of it, one where it's right next to the cervix but not covering it, one where it's partially covering it, and one where it's completely covering it.

Placenta previa can fix itself but it has to be monitored. If it doesn't fix itself it can be fatal to both the mother and child under certain circumstances. It can mean that the doctors will find it necessary to deliver the baby via c-section before full term. They like to wait until 36 weeks at least but sometimes they have to do it even earlier. The youngest baby known to survive was born at 25 weeks. I am 21 weeks. It's said that at 20 weeks the baby has a chance of survival outside the womb but it's a very small one.

So hopefully it's not a low lying placenta (which can turn into placenta previa) and is just a blood vessel in the cervix, which is something else the midwife mentioned. We'll see, though. Hopefully all is well or, at least, turns out well.

New Position

I get up today and find that my baby has moved to the left side. It has been on my right the entire pregnancy so far. It has been trying to move around more and it's finally done it! lol! Let's see if the kicks are in a bit different place from now on.

I'm thinking that it moving to the other side is the reason why I had to pee so freaking much in the night. In a five hour period I got up to go at least 3 times. I think there was a fourth in there but I can't quite remember. I haven't had to pee so much since near the beginning.

Oh and I forgot to post the picture of my little belly. I got one taken today (21w1d) but I have to wait for my sister to send it to my e-mail before I can post it. So here's the one from a week ago:

You can see some red area up towards my shirt. That's pregnancy discoloration. It hasn't changed shape, gotten smaller or bigger, it isn't itchy or dry or raised. It's just there. I've had it for a few months now. It's interesting. I also have one tiny spot under my arm and that's it.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Preggy Belly

So when I stand, it just looks like I've gotten fatter. -_-' But when I lay down, it's very obvious I'm pregnant.

If only things would even out while standing like they do when lying down. Poo. It's such a cute little belly too. Just a little round thing below my belly button. I'm hoping that because I don't have as much fat on my stomach as most my weight do, when I get huge it'll look like I'm pregnant and not just overly fat in one spot. I've seen some overweight pregnant women who have a belly that jiggles like all it is is fat. It's odd that it'll do that. Hope mine doesn't.