Thursday, June 16, 2011

Nervous, and Then...

Every once in a while I get nervous about what's to come. It's nothing to do with the actual fact that I'll be a mom and whatnot. It's just about change. I must admit that I'm afraid of it. Well, it's easier if I have someone with me, but I'm having to face this change alone.

I know I'll have my family and friends but there won't be a kind and loving man going through this change with me.

So I get nervous and have to stop myself from dwelling on it or else suffer a horrible panic attack. But even after just a few seconds of freaking out, I still feel off.

But it never seems to fail lately that after a small panic attack, the baby kicks me or does some major moving so I can really tell it's in there. And it reminds me about how adorable this little one is going to be. How as it grows older, it'll smile at me, reach for me, be sad when I'm not around enough, be curious about everything, even to the point of being annoying, haha! I'll have someone who loves me no matter what. Someone who needs me and can't stand to be without me. Someone who will give my life more purpose than I've ever been able to find on my own or in a man's arms.

I can't wait to hug my baby for the first time! XD I'm nearly halfway through! Going by the November 7th due date, I'll be halfway done this coming Monday. I can't believe it's almost been 20 weeks!

I'll be showing more soon, too. I've already gotten to the point where I can't hold my stomach in. It's annoying, though because it's not a lovely round belly. It just looks like I let my stomach go. -_-'

So close and yet so far! The year is halfway over already! Where did the time go?! Before I know it, my baby will be here. I just hope I've got everything settled by then!

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