No Man

Tonight I'm feeling the lack of a man. And no, not for me, for William. I'm honestly not ready for a relationship right now. I'm still trying to get my time management down pat. I don't have time to give attention to a man. But it would be nice to have a really good male friend who I hung out with a lot and loves kids.

William loves his uncle and is super interested in my mom's husband. Sadly neither man is much interested in William. My mom's husband is a bit of a jerk and while he's loosened up some with William, he still pretty much won't even touch him. My brother-in-law will play with him and sometimes hold him while he's doing something, but for the most part he doesn't have much to do with William. His uncle is whom he sees the most since I live right next door.

My sister and her hubby are trying for their first child but I can tell the guy is still too afraid to actually try hard. He wants children but he's still too grossed out by diaper changes, boogers, and spit-up.

I just want a good man in my son's life who won't let him down. But poor William has a mom like me who doesn't have much confidence and lacks the will power to eat right and exercise. And I don't get out much at all, never have really so there's no chance of me meeting any guy friends even.

I'm hoping going to college will change some of that. I at least want to meet a guy friend. But who knows. If others could see the way William watched his uncle and my mom's husband, you'd understand why it makes me sad there's no man who is really around for him. Hehe, he only has eyes for the men when they're around.

Once, in the grocery store he randomly started waving at guys. This was after I just got done telling my sister that it sucked William didn't wave to strangers.

*sigh* All I can do is hope and pray that I get, at least, a friend.