Update *Jan. 25, 2012*

**Yes some thing are repeated from the Jan 12th update. I'd forgotten I'd written it then had to save it while tending to William. Had to put this post on hold as well since he got up from a nap while I was writing it.**

So things are going. Pretty much everything is what you would expect with a new baby and a single mom. Here's the milestones and little cute things that have happened so far:

William used to smile only in his sleep. He now smiles quite readily for a na-na-na-na noise or a smooch noise. Unfortunately I do not remember when he first smiled while awake. He still has not gotten the hang of laughing- either that or this is just his laugh. His laugh is a dry, fake cough noise sometimes ended with a small squeal. Usually when he laughs he pulls his hands to his mouth, as fists, scrunched everything up and turns to one side or the other. It's absolutely adorable! His first attempt at laughing came on the evening of December 25th. I might've mentioned it in the last post but I don't remember.

He has been making 'ah,' 'oo,' and 'goo' noises for several weeks now and has only recently begun to copy me if I make them, but not all the time. When awake, you can usually find him with one or both fists at his mouth, drool running down them. The rule goes: if it's in his hands, it's in his mouth, haha! He still has not noticed his hands or feet, though. I'm not sure when babies are supposed to do that.

Last week was when he finally started to like his play mat. He especially loves the mirror and a purple, white-spotted butterfly my mom bought him (part of  a three-piece set that also has a bumblebee and a ladybug). He kicks like there's no tomorrow while on the mat and will sometimes "talk" to the butterfly or his image. As for his bouncy seat, he's liking it a lot more (especially since I put the mirror and the butterfly on the hanging thing) and will sit in it at least long enough for me to do a load of dishes, which is all I ask. Well, that and maybe for him to be content long enough for me to make a quick meal.

He has not rolled over yet, but I'm thinking he will before the warmer weather arrives in the end of March. He's started to roll to his side now. During tummy time he can hold his head up nice and high for a bit but usually only when you set him in front of the TV for tummy time.

William LOVES the TV. He'll watch anything right now. My mom just got him some educational stuff so that way he will get some learning in, which is good. He got to see Sesame Street for a little bit for the first time today. We were up early enough for it. Normally he doesn't get any PBS stuff in until 1pm and then it's Caillou or Dinosaur Train or Clifford. But since he didn't get much sleep last night he fell asleep halfway through Sesame Street, but he really seemed to like it. Luckily he was out well before Elmo's World.

When we get up in the morning (which is when William fidgets from trying to get stuff through his tummy too much and wakes himself up) I'll feed him. During this session I'll check things on the computer and several times I'll look down and see him grinning at me real big so his mouth is open and he's got this mischievous look in his eye, like he just farted or something, haha. It's really too cute and I'd like to get a picture of it someday. He'll use that look to get what he wants, I just know it.

He has outgrown any full body onesies that say 0-3 months because the feet are too small for him. So I've put them all in a bag, along with some other 0-3 month things that don't fit him for one reason or the other. Now he is in either plain old 3 month clothing or 3-6 month things. He has a few 6 month full body onesies he wears. I just put socks on him to keep his feet from sliding out of the feetie part, the socks add some drag so the things go with his movements. He's a big boy!

As for the bad parts William can be a handful to get to sleep at night. During the day he usually has no problems being put down for a nap, as long as I hold him and pat his back and sing to him a bit before putting him in his swing. He still won't sleep in his pack n play. I'm hoping I can get him used to it before I have to work and he has to go to daycare.

Most of the time I can't find the time to do anything because William doesn't want to be set down. He's such a cuddle monster, which is nice and cute but since it's just me it does tend to drive me mad. My mom used to take him for about an hour in the evening since she didn't get to see him all day but she's stopped doing that unless I ask her and lately she gets home late so I just keep him with me. Even during his naps I don't get to do much. There's no telling how he's going to nap. He goes back and forth between cat naps and long ones so if I want to do something like take a shower while he naps I have to make it a super quick one. I can't relax and stand in the water just to warm up. I have to get in, wet my hair, lather it, rinse it, then wash my body and get out.

The other night my mom brought home a box of rice cereal for me to try on him. We tried it and put him down at 8pm. I decided to go to bed at midnight, which was when his next feeding would be if he stayed asleep long enough. He did and it was the BEST four hours I've had since before he was born! I got to just sit in the TV and watch whatever without having to pause it multiple times (watching Netflix) so I can get him soothed during a fidgety session or to go feed him cause he hungry before three hours are up. I could type with both hands on the computer, I could make a meal without hoping he'd sit in his bouncy chair long enough or without having him in one arm.

Last week Friday I was really feeling the single mother thing. Sometimes I just wish I had a partner who could take over for a little bit so I could get things done. Someone who could help me clean, help keep William entertained, take over getting him to bed, go get him when he wakes up from naps, etc. I also hadn't been out of the house and into town in a week. It was my mom's birthday and her hubby was taking her out. I was at home, alone, with William on a Friday night. All I had to do was think about how I was stuck at home again and all the bad things that were weighing on me like work and not having some help.

My best friend moved back from the lower 48. She and her fiance split and since she was moving here now she would need to look for a job. I thought it would be great for her and I to go out and put in applications and whatnot together. And it would was a nice thought that she was single, too. I mean, don't get me wrong, I hate that she and her guy are having problems, but you know how it is. I didn't feel like such a loser now. And I thought with her hanging out with me and us putting in applications, I'd be more likely to get a job. The whole motivation thing.

Next thing I know she's got her old job back and she's dating this guy she knows who lives in California. She visited him before coming up here and he visited for a bit after Christmas. Now I feel like even more of a loser than I did before. I've been single (sort of) for four years now and last year I was putting in tons of applications and not getting a single nibble.

So with everything on my mind like that and just wishing I could have my hands free for a few hours I was pretty depressed. It was gone by the net day, though, but I still don't like feeling like that. I love  William to pieces and it's not his fault I ran out of gas and so was stuck inside for days and days.

I tried getting out today. I was going to have a friend of mine (who is also a single mom and I don't know how she keeps sane since she doesn't work and has absolutely no help from her family) come to get my little gas can to fill it up while I watched her kid. So when William went to sleep I was outside trying to get the can from my trunk. Wouldn't you know it, the trunk was frozen shut (and still is).

So, even though I knew there'd be none, I went into the garage hoping my mom's husband had a small, empty, spare gas can. Lo and behold right next to the door was the one he normally keeps in his car and he always keeps gas in it. Woo hoo!

Went back to the car, took the lid off the gas tank and then went to take the cap off the can and couldn't get it. He'd tightened it too tight. My coat sleeve has this rubber thing on it that has velcro on it so I can tighten the sleeve around my wrist and I tried utilizing that but it just didn't work. Back to the garage I went, with the gas can, hoping there was one of those large wrenches but I couldn't find one. I did, however, find some leather work gloves on the jig saw, so I tried one of those and it worked!

Back at the car, putthe gas in, then I made sure the car was plugged in and the power to the outlet was on and I went inside to wait. About an hour later I went back outside and tried starting the car. Not so much as a click. The battery was comepletely dead. To the garage. My mom's husband has a portable jumper but I knew he usually keeps it in his car instead of using jumper cables. I had hoped he'd left it in the garage. All I found, though, was a charger. So I tried that.

While it was hooked up and charging my battery I went back inside and checked things. After a bit I went back outside and tried starting the car and things clicked, lights blinked, etc. but nothing started. Then I remembered he has the thing set so a battery charges slowly. So I just took the thing off and put it back in the garage. Tomorrow he'll probably help me get everything done so I can get the car started. I've got to have it up and running for Friday when my mom needs me to drive in behind her so she can take her truck in to be serviced and then her, William, and I are going to go do things!

So I won't get out of the house until Friday. I'll have been stuck at home for two weeks then.

But! the awesome thing I just found out two days ago is that my middle sister, Christina, is coming up to take a class in town! She said she'll be here for a week or two! I'm incredibly excited! The class starts February 2nd so she'll be here sometime next week before then.  Her hubby is getting the ticket tomorrow. I would love it if she was going to be here on Monday! Or heck, even Sunday!! Before Once Upon a Time comes on would be awesome! Haha, as you can see I love Christina tons. I honestly don't know ow I get by without her around. We shared a room for 12 or 13 years and she's only two years older than me. I really shouldn't depend on her so much, but I can't help it.

She said she'd babysit some while she's here, which will be nice. I know I could ask FOB to babysit but the very thought of it send me into an anxiety attack. When I watch Parenthood, the people on that show sometimes get to yelling at each other and William gets upset by it. I couldn't let FOB watch William until he's old enough to understand his dad's anger problems. Not only that but I expect that if FOB watched William, he'd probably take him to his friend's house where his son lives (his best friend is married to his ex) and that place is a mad house. When I was there a few weeks ago, I was stressed out. The couple is aggressive, just like FOB, and they're having a rough patch in their marriage so they're constantly arguing. I don't want William anywher near that. He's got a really peaceful place with me.

So I deal but I can't wait for Tina to get here! I know she said she'll babysit but for the most part I'll just have her take over when I want my hands free and all. I can't really spend much time with my best friend since she works now and she only has one day off a week.

Guess that about does it. I put William to bed in his swing after a little bit of rice cereal with breastmilk and then some extra nursing. Not sure if I'll pump or just get him from his swing and let him nurse in the bed. I really hope he sleeps well tonight.