An Update

Well I haven't been told anything about taking the 3-hour GTT. That's okay now, though, it's pretty obvious I've got gestational diabetes. One morning I checked my sugars and then my mom wanted to check hers. We were both in the mid-80s.

I had 1/3c cooked cream of wheat and I think 8oz of milk, she had 2 pancakes with syrup, a sunnyside up egg, and a cup of coffee with splenda.

After an hour, my sugars were 135 (give or take 1 or 2 points) and hers were 79. I've had cream of wheat again since then and my body just can't handle it. Really, my body can't handle carbs when I first get up, so there are no carbs for breakfast, unless I get something super small. I had two pieces of french toast and 12 almonds one morning and that had my sugars under 120, which was weird.

I did figure out a yummy banana chocolate smoothie that I could have for breakfast and my sugars were under 110. But I guess my body is now used to it or something and my sugars have been rising with each time I have it. I had it yesterday morning and my sugars were 135! It made absolutely no sense. The recipe wasn't changed in the least. So I can't have that for breakfast anymore, which sucks because it was quick, easy, and delicious!

This morning I ate two pieces of ham and 2 egg whites. It was extremely hard getting all that down. I don't like yolks, which is why I eat the whites, but I've have had to have eggs so much lately that they're about to make me sick when I eat them. And ham is nice, but I prefer it on biscuits, not by itself. Sugars were 94, though, so protein for breakfast it is. My midwife said I should just do dinner for breakfast instead of going for the regular breakfast foods.

I used to be so angry about having GD. So much so that all I could fantasize about was punching my nurse midwife in the face, like it was somehow his fault. I wanted to cry each time I thought about how I had to give birth in the hospital. And it's not the fact that I don't get a water birth. It's the thought that people may not listen to me as well as they may get carried away and become frenzied. And if they get that way, I'm sure as hell going to start freaking out, which will make them most likely sit there and talk to me like I'm a two-year-old, telling me to calm down and whatnot. If that happens, all hell is going to break loose. The word loathe doesn't even begin to describe how much I hate being told to calm down. I could probably go on a murderous rampage one day if someone says that to me. I can only imagine how I'd be while in pain from labor and someone telling me to calm down.

So yeah, the thought of a hospital birth isn't a fun one. I just want it calm and I want things to be done my way unless something happens and for the safety of me and/or the baby things need to be done differently. I was getting angry because I thought the nurses and my nurse midwife were going to do things their way. But the other week I was talking to my oldest sister and she was telling me about having a doula. She had one with her daughter.

She said a doula is great! And, really, that's all I hear from people. My sister said that the doula would speak for her because though she could think straight, she couldn't seem to vocalize stuff. So the doula spoke for her, making sure things were done the way my sister wanted.

That right there has got me looking into getting a doula. I wasn't going to get one while I was thinking I was going to be giving birth at the birthing center. Everything I wanted, they did. And so when I knew I'd be giving birth in the hospital it didn't cross my mind and so I became stressed. But now, I'm not angry anymore. I'm not panicking about a hospital birth. If I can have a doula, then I will have someone who will be firm for me. I'm not sure if I could be firm. I don't like confrontation so I usually just let people have what they want. I might could be firm but if I'm in intense pain I'll probably be focusing on keeping my mouth shut because I can be a real bitch. I imagine I would be yelling at people.

Other than that, the little one has found my ribs with its butt, if I haven't already mentioned that. It's not too bad throughout the day. Only every once in a while does the baby managed to wedge itself under my ribs while I'm just doing whatever. It's when I go to the bathroom that the baby gets up under there every single time. Makes it really hard to clean up because I bend from my actual waist, which only pushes it further into my ribs and then it hurts.

And with the decreased amount of sugar and carbs I get in a day, I've noticed more movement. When I do get more than I should, the baby moves around for about a minute or two and then just falls asleep for a good long while. But, if I eat right, it's moving a lot throughout the day.

Also, the way I have to eat for dealing with the GD is frustrating. It was annoying at first but now that I've gotten to where I get hungry about every hour, it's gotten me so annoyed I could scream. It's hard to split your meals into every two hours so you can keep good track of your blood sugars when barely an hour after you've eaten, your stomach is growling for more.

And after talking to the midwife about how annoying the diet is, she's having me try out what she does to keep her sugars in check. She doesn't have diabetes but she's got it on both sides of her family (like I do) and she doesn't want to have it when she gets older. So she wrote down the guidelines and gave them to me.

Pretty much, though, if you've got GD you need to go on the Atkins Diet. The less carbs and sugar you have and the more protein, the better. So this means lots of meat for me. That's not an easy thing. I'm not big on meat. Give me seafood to eat pretty much every day and I'll be happy. I love fish, crab, lobster, scallops, shrimp, etc. I'm an ocean kind of girl. I love how light but flavorful everything is. It doesn't weigh on my stomach. And seafood has loads of protein in it. Other than that I'll eat a bit of chicken, but I'm not that good with beef. I'll also happily eat pork or turkey, but those are things I don't get much.

Oh and I'm starting to think even more that my nurse midwife is a bit of an idiot. Sorry to him but I don't like some of the things he says and does.

He never brings my chart in when I have an appointment. He never tells me what to expect in the coming week or at the next appointment. And at my last appointment, the ultrasound machine estimated the weight of my baby at 4 1/2lbs. He said that's pretty big. That my baby should be around 3 1/2lbs. When I got home, I looked it up and everything I've read says that around 32 weeks my baby should be between 4 and 4 1/2lbs. Even the stuff the midwives have tells them the same thing. And I know that the machines can be off by as much as 2lbs but still, the nurse midwife thinks 4 1/2lbs is huge for 32 weeks (I'm 33 weeks now). Where did he get his info from?

Besides, all the ultrasounds I've had said the baby's measuring a bit ahead (in terms of length of body). So if that's the case, then a little extra weight doesn't seem that bad, if my baby had that, which he doesn't seem to.

It's no wonder my middle sister's preceptor doesn't like this guy.

Not to mention, the man hasn't said anything about giving me another rhogam shot. It's been 12 weeks since I had it and that's as long as they last. I have to get it again so it will work during my delivery. So it's up to me to tell him to give that to me. Not even sure if I'll get it at the next appointment because I think something happened and he's got too many patients that day or he'll be out of the office, but I'll be seeing another person who works there. This one is a woman and I wonder if she'll be better than him. If she is, I wonder if I could switch to her.

I'm not comfortable with the nurse midwife. With the midwives at the birthing center I was comfortable and could ask questions if I had them and talk about things, but with this guy...I'm too afraid to ask about stuff. I was amazed I had the courage to ask him about doulas. I wanted to see if any of his previous patients had doulas and if so, was there one in common that was said to be really good. I think he was a bit offended. He said that the few of his patients who had doulas, most of them worked with this one woman and he said she was really good. But I'm thinking I'll go with someone else because I don't want a doula who may be good friends with this guy.

Anyways, not much else. Baby's doing fine, moving a bunch and all. Got 7 weeks to go and I can't believe my belly is going to get bigger. Sleep is going to get even worse, too. I don't sleep well now because the hip that touches the bed will hurt after a bit so I have to constantly roll over to the other side. But now my lower back has begun to hurt as well and then there's some pain under my belly and it doesn't go away no matter what position I switch to .